Bakalicious
by Geenie ate me
Summary: When the tipsy Sakura gets kidnapped, it's up to Naruto, the never dying Sasuke, and Rock lee? to save her! Rated R for random. I do not own Naruto, or the Oscar Myer baloney song.
1. The plot begins

Hear no evil. Eat no evil. Party with no evil. DAMN!

Okay so umm... I was walkin down the street and ummm I saw a puppy dog! And umm... the puppy was cute.

**The end!**

MY BALONEY HAS A FIRST NAME IT'S N-A-R-U-T-O! MY BALONEY HAS A SECOND NAME IT'S U-Z-A-M-A-K-I! I LIKE TO EAT IT EVERYDAY AND IF YOU ASK WHY I'LL SAY!!!!! OSC- I MEAN NARTO UZAMAKI HAS A WAY WITH B-UMMM...-A-UMMM...-Q?-UMMMM...A!!!!! YEAH YOU CAN COUNT ON OSCAR! I MEAN NARUTO!

Naruto: wtf?

Sasuke: I'm disturbed...

Sakura: did you know I have pink hair?

Rock lee: AHHHH!! IT BURNS MY FREAKISH LOOKIN EYES!!

Inuyasha: I'm the coolest one here.

Sasuke: says the guy who talks to fleas and growls at trucks.

Inuyasha: you startin somethin bitch!!!!

Inuyasha and Sasuke then start beating each other up. They then both get killed by Hamtaro.

Naruto: damn, didn't see that one coming.

Hamtaro then kicks Naruto in the nuts and kidnaps Sakura.

Naruto: AHHH!!!

Sakura: weeeee!!! I feel tipsy!

Hamtaro: that's because I slipped something in your drink!

Sakura: but I wasn't drinking anything...

Hamtaro: oh... then I don't know..

Rock lee: that was my drink!

He then passes out.

Hamtaro: ooops my bad! Well anyway back to the kidnaping!

Sakura: is that a zipper on your back?

Naruto: lemme see.

Pulls the zipper down and sees that it's Gaara in a Hamtaro costume.

Sakura and Naruto: ...

Gaara: ummm... look over there is that the ice cream man!

Naruto: WHERE!

Naruto looks away and Gaara kidnaps Sakura.

Naruto: damn it!

_Narrator: Naruto then realizes he must go and save Sakura and avenge his fellow ninja's death! _

Sasuke: actually I'm fine.

He then gets hit by a truck.

Naruto: oh well not my problem.

_Narrator: I SAID NARUTO THEN REALIZES HE MUST GO AND SAVE SAKURA AND AVENGE HIS FELLOW NINJA'S DEATH! _

Naruto: aww... but if I go I'll miss Desperate Housewives!

_Narrator: that's your problem not mine! So go! _

Naruto: effin narrator... FINE I'LL GO!

_Narrator: and thus begins a back breaking journey that may kill Naruto. _

Naruto: what?

_Narrator: nothing._

Naruto: I can't believe I'm missing Desperate Housewives for this...

Rock lee: BLUE BERRY MUFFINS!

0000000000000000000000000

and now the horror is over.


	2. PINKY AND THE BRAIN!

Hear no evil. Eat no evil. Tell no funny blonde jokes to evil. Damn!

Did you no that 2+2 equals 87? I bet you didn't! I did cuz I'm smarts!

I want chicken! I want liver! Nine tailed fox mix please deliver! Fox! Fox! Fooox!! (what sound does foxes make anyway?)

Naruto: god we gotta stop with all these half baked commercial jingles.

Rock lee: if you ask me, they're kinda catchy.

Naruto: Well I didn't! So shut the hell up! We gotta find Sakura!

Rock lee: right!

Naruto: off to Sakura we go! That stupid ho! Who got kidnaped my Hamtaro! But wasn't really Hamtaro but was Gaara! Gaara! And the brain brain brain brain! Dunnanu na! Narf!

Rock lee: Was that the beat from Pinky and the Brain?

Naruto: ummm... yeah... but Pinky and the Brain copied me!

Rock lee: oh! Okay!

Sasuke: god you guys are idiots.

Rock lee: AHHH!!! ZOMBIE!! GET AWAY! GET AWAY YOU BEAST!

Rock lee starts running around in circles. Naruto then trips him.

Naruto: calm down! We'll ask him a question and see if it's the real Sasuke!

Rock lee: ooookay! We'll ask cough cough Gaara in disguise I mean Sasuke a question only he can answer!

Naruto: WHAT'S MY FAVORITE COLOR?!

Sasuke: hmmm... orange?

Naruto then slaps Sasuke.

Naruto: NO! IT'S LAVENDER!

Sasuke: then why do you wear nothing but orange?

Naruto: if I wore lavender I would be the laughing stock of the ninja academy!!!!! duh!

Sasuke: oh..

Rock lee: what color is my underwear!

Sasuke: I don't even wanna know!

Rock lee slaps Sasuke.

Rock lee: WRONG! I'm not wearing any underwear!

Sasuke: okay I didn't need to know that..

Naruto: if a train leaves at four o'clock and another train leaves at four thirty, will those two trains collide with each other at 6:08?

Sasuke: OKAY! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THIS ONE! I DOUBT NARUTO EVEN KNOWS WHAT A TRAIN IS!

Naruto: I know what a train is! It's a some kind of shape right?

Sasuke: that's it!

Beats the living hell out of Rock lee and Naruto.

Naruto: that's the real Sasuke alright... ow...

Rock lee: yup! Only Sasuke can bring me that much pain...

Sasuke: C'mon! Let's go find Sakura!

Naruto: yeah! I already missed Desperate Housewives, but there's no reason why I should miss Laguna Beach!

Sasuke: ...dude... never mind...

Rock lee: but how are we going to know where Sakura is?

Naruto: hmmm... let's just walk randomly anywhere, with how this story is going, I'm sure we'll find her in seconds!

Sasuke and Rock lee: okay.

_Narrator: And so they randomly walk through the woods and the Egyptian pyramids. They keep walking until a giant gate appears out of nowhere! _

Sasuke: what's with the giant gate?

Naruto: it wasn't here until that effin narrator mentioned it!

Zabuza: FEE FIE FOE FUMB! WHO DIS BE AT MY GATE!?

Sasuke: we just wanna get pass your gate so we can save Sakura and pick up some beer on the way back!

Rock lee: YEAH! PARTY!

Sasuke: who said you were invited?

Rock lee: aww... you suck!

Naruto: does anyone else notice that's effin Zabuza?!

Zabuza: tell you what, you can pass if you answer this riddle for me. You only get three chances okay?

Sasuke: yeah yeah whatever.

Zabuza: okay, riddle me this, and riddle me that, who has a giant butcher knife and wants to kill a scracthy voice orange wearin ramen eatin brat?

Naruto:hmmm... the hamburgler?

Zabuza: no!

Sasuke: Paris Hilton?

Zabuza: what? NO!

Rock lee: GUY SENSI?

Zabuza: that's it, I'm just going to kill you guys.

Zabuza takes out his giant butcher knife thingie and cuts Sasuke in half.

Naruto: OH MY GOD! HE KILLED SASUKE!

Rock lee: woo hoo! Err- I mean YOU BASTARD!

_Narrator: will Naruto and Rock lee escape the horror of Zabuza? Who I could of sworn was dead but I guess he isn't... And will Sakura be rescued? FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON BAKALICIOUS! _

00000000000000000

this was way too long... and the next chapter will feature the tipsy Sakura.

Sakura: i have five fingers on each hand!

Geenie: right... good for you!


	3. IMMMM BAAAAACK!

IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM BAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!! DUNN DUNN DUNNNNNNNNNN!

Narrator: _So here is Geenie ate me, she has returned with vengeance. _

AND SPELL CHECK!! WOOO!

Narrator: _ err..yes, spell check too….. Ummm now do you remember where you left off at? _

Hmmmmmm……….well I just re-read the last two chapters..and well……no….BUT WHO CARES ANYWAY?! I'll just wing it!!!

Naruto: We're doomed……… AND WHY DOES MY NAME COME UP ON THE SPELL CHECKER THINGIE MCJIG?!

WELL HERE YOU ARE….chapter………ummm…

Gaara: Do you even remember what chapter you're on?

YES!!!!! It was seven right?

Naruto: Not even close………….

WELL UMMM! SHUT UP!! OR I'LL MAKE YOU ALL USE THESE THINGS!! ""

Gaara: You mean quotations?

YEAH! TAKE THAT AHAHAHAHA!!!

Narrator: _You guys may want to get on with it, before they decide to stop reading. _

………AHHH!! I NEED REVIEWS TO LIVE THOUGH!! OKAY, OKAY!! LET'S GET ON WITH IT!!!!!!!! And that means you especially……SASUKE!!

Naruto: Umm..You had Zabuza kill Sasuke off..again…

Oh yeah!!! That's where I left off! Alrightie then, let's get on with the story!!!! I'll just copy and paste where I left off at…..that'll solve everything.

Narrator: (sigh) _PREVIOUSLY ON BAKALICIOUS!! _

Zabuza: that's it, I'm just going to kill you guys.

Zabuza takes out his giant butcher knife thingie and cuts Sasuke in half.

Naruto: OH MY GOD! HE KILLED SASUKE!

Rock lee: woo hoo! Err- I mean YOU BASTARD!

Haku: Zabuza, I'm pregnant.

DUNN DUNNNN DUNNNNNNNNNNNN!

Narrator: _Okay, continue. _

Zabuza: OKAY NOW TO KILL YOU TOO!

Rock Lee: Actually, it's spelt two.

Zabuza: AND HE'S FIRST!!!

Rock Lee: BUT I'M TOO COOL TO DIE!! TAKE NARUTO INSTEAD!!

Naruto: PLEASE KILL HIM FIRST!

Zabuza: How about this, I'll kill you both at the same time.

Narrator: _And soon Zabuza lifts his giant butcher knife thing effortlessly. And swings it at Naruto and Rock Lee! _

Naruto: CHEESE IT!!

Rock Lee: What?

Naruto: Run!!

Rock Lee: Oh, okay. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

They both run away.

Zabuza: You can run, but you can't hide..or is it you can jog but not walk? Or was it no parking zone? Hmmmm…SCREW IT!

Zabuza chases after them.

Narrator: _Meanwhile where Sakura was…_

Sakura: HEY LEMMEE GO! I'M TELLING THE HOKAGE ON YOU!! YOU HEAR ME? BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…….WHINE…….

Gaara: SHUT UP!!!

Sakura:…….YOU'RE SOOO MEAN!!!

Sakura then starts crying.

Gaara: Oh shut up you stupid pig…

Sakura: Pig? WELL AT LEAST I GOT EYEBROWS!! EYEBROWS EYEBROWS EYEBROWS……

FLASH BACK!!

_kid: YOU CAN'T PLAY YUGIOH CARDS WITH US BECAUSE YOU GOT NO EYEBROWS! _

_Kid #2: YEAH!! WHAT KINDA PERSON HAS NO EYEBROWS?! _

_A bunch of kids: GAARA HAS NO EYEBROWS..GAARA HAS NO EYEBROWS! AND HE'S A SAND DEMON!!! NANNY BOO BOO! _

_Kid: Aww! I think he's going to cry! _

_(they all rip off their eyebrows and throw them at Gaara) _

_HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! WHAT A LOSER!! _

FLASH BACK OVER!!

Gaara:…….(sniffle)

Sakura: 00...

Gaara: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!

Sakura: Nothing, I just had a flashback of when I was little and how all of the kids made fun of my huge forehead…And how they all danced around me and teased me, and tore off pieces of their forehead and threw it at me……………

Gaara: I love you….

Sakura: WHAT?!

Gaara: UHHHHH!!

Smacks Sakura in the back of the head. Sakura falls to the ground knocked out.

Gaara: Stupid big foreheaded pig……….

Narrator: _umm…00.…Well anyway, where…that was just weird……where Naruto and Rock Lee are!! _

Naruto: HAH! Everyone knows renegade ninjas can't climb trees!! It says that here in this handbook!!

Rock Lee: Ummm…Naruto….

Naruto: OH I'M ZABUZA! I THINK I'M A BAD ASS EVEN THOUGH I WAS KILLED OFF EARLY IN THE SEASON!!

Rock Lee: Naruto?

Naruto: I walk around shirtless and think I'm cool, even though I'm apparently not!

Rock Lee: NARUTO!

Naruto: Hang on Lee!! Now where was I? OH YEAH! I'm soo lame and dorky, I wish I was exactly like Naruto!!

Rock Lee: N-N-N-N-ARUTO!!

Naruto: WHAT?!

Rock Lee: Look…..

Naruto then turns around.

Zabuza: Exactly like you huh?

Naruto:…..oh…….WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME HE WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!

Rock Lee: YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN!!!

Zabuza: Now…where was I? Oh yeah! I WAS ABOUT TO KILL YOU two?

Rock Lee: Yeah, two.

Zabuza: TWO!!!

Naruto and Rock Lee start hugging each other.

Naruto: Well since this is the end, I guess it's about time I confess.

Rock Lee: Confess to what?

Naruto: I-I-…..I'M THE ONE WHO BLEW UP YOUR SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT THAT YOU WORKED SOO HARD ON AND BLAMED IT ON NEJI!! I'M SOOO SORRY!!

Rock Lee: It's okay, for I too have something to confess to!

Naruto: What is it?

Rock Lee: You know that head band you're wearing?

Naruto: Yeah?

Rock Lee: Well one day there was no toilet paper left, and ummm..you left it lying around and…

Naruto:…..YOU BASTARD!

Naruto starts strangling Lee.

Rock Lee: I'm…sorry..PLEASE…LET GO!!

Zabuza: Okay, time to kill.

Is about to cut them both in half…….

Masked Stranger: STOP RIGHT THERE!

All three of them: HUH?

The Masked stranger jumps down, but was too shadowy to be seen.

Masked Stranger: Hey you mega dweeb! Get your filthy paws off them!

Zabuza: And who might you be?

Masked Stranger: I stand for truth! I stand for justice! And also I stand for all of that is cute! For I am-

Rock Lee: I WONDER WHO SHE IS?!

Masked Stranger: Sailor INO!!!!

Narrator: _it was Sailor Ino to the rescue! She stepped out of the darkness, and revealed her super uber cute but tough, look. _

Sailor Ino: THAT'S RIGHT! IT IS I! SAILOR INO!

Does a pose.

Naruto: Ino?

Rock Lee: NO!! IT'S SAILOR INO YOU DUNCE!! WEREN'T YOU LISTENING?!

Naruto:….and remind me why I'm missing Desperate Housewives for this?

Narrator: _IT'S SAILOR INO TO THE RESCUE!! BUT WILL SHE BE ABLE TO SAVE NARUTO AND LEE? AND LET ALONE WILL THEY BE ABLE TO SAVE THE TIPSY SAKURA! WHO IS THE FATHER OF HAKU'S BABY? AND WHAT ABOUT SASUKE?! _

Sasuke: I'm fine, nothing band aids won't fix.

A piano comes flying out of the air and lands on Sasuke.

Narrator: _FIND OUT ALL OF THIS AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE ON THE NEXT CHAPTER OF BAKALICIOUS!! _

And that would be chapter eight right?

Gaara: Sure…whatever…

YAY!

0000000000000000

Has anyone noticed that Naruto..in away..is the smartest there? I don't know……..

No commercial jingles this time, but if you be real good, maybe the next chapter. SO BEG!


	4. SOMETHING SOMETHING BAKALICOUS!

So how's been everyone's day so far?

Naruto: Hell, ever since you put us in this story.

It's just a bunch of sick fantasies of mine all string together to make one, how bad can that be?

Naruto: HOW BAD CAN THAT BE?! WHADD'YA MEAN HOW BAD CAN THAT BE?!

Hmmm…I see your point. I need more reviews…I KNOW! I'll change this into a yaoi! How's that?

Naruto: NO! NO! IT'S FINE THE WAY IT IS!! NO NEED TO GO GRAVITATION STYLE NOW!!!! YOU'RE GETTING PLENTY OF REVIEWS! TRUST ME!

Guess you're right……..but is it natural to have a nose bleed while typing?

Naruto: You're one sick mother-

INSERT THEME SONG HERE

_THEY'RE GOING TO SAVE THE DAY!_

_HELP IS ON THE WAY!_

_BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP CAN DO ANYTHING………_

_OH..AND I HEAR THE WIND BLOW THROUGH YOUR HAIR…_

_WATCHING YOU WITH THAT COLD STARE……_

_NOW…DON'T GO CRAZY..YET!_

_BECAUSE…SOMETHING SOMETHING BAKALICIOUS!_

_SOMETHING SOMETHING…BAKALICIOUS! _

_MAYBE I'M LOST..WILL YOU FIND ME?_

_AT ALL COST…YOU WILL RESCUE SAKURA WHO IS ALWAYS TIPSY! _

_YEAH YEAH YEAH..SOMETHING SOMETHING BAKALICIOUS! _

Gaara: Turn that crap off!

Sorry……

Narrator: _So where we last left off was a rather huge cliff hanger! Maybe not as big as Sakura's forehead, but still! We find our heroes in a tight situation, and it seems a new hero-err heroine has arrived! But will she have the strength to take down the fearsome Zabuza? Well I got the popcorn, if you got the butter, so let's watch. _

Naruto: HEY! WHY DON'T YOU HELP US YOU EFFIN NARRARTOR?!

Narrator: _Nothing says in my contract that when you're in dangers way, I have to intervene. _

Naruto: You bastard!

Rock Lee: Don't worry Naruto! Sailor Ino is here!

Naruto: Yeah, Ino against Zabuza, who do you really think would win?

Rock Lee: YOU JUST GOT TO BELIEVE IN THE POWAH OF CUTENESS!

Naruto:………………right……………….

Zabuza: (Damn..my only weakness, cute things…..But I can't let them know that……Good thing the parent-pearen-these things ( ) means that I'm thinking and not talking.)

Sailor Ino: Actually I heard every word you said. The writer just put that there to mess with your mind.

Zabuza: Damn! No matter, my plan will still be carried out..despite uberly cute things trying to stop me!

Naruto: What plan?! I never remember you having a plan?!

Zabuza: Oh…..I never mentioned that?

Naruto: No.

Zabuza: Oh, must have slipped my mind.

Naruto: So what's your plan?!

Zabuza: Hmph. So you really wanna know huh?

Naruto: Well I wouldn't have asked otherwise…

Zabuza: Well my plan is two-

Rock Lee: to.

Zabuza: TO-my plan is to……

Narrator: _Meanwhile at Konoha…._

Kiba: THIS IS THE BEST PARADE FLOAT I'VE EVER SEEN! WE'RE GOING TO WIN THE CONTEST FOR SURE!

Shino: Why is it of a giant dog?

Akamaru: arf!

Kiba: YEAH SHINO! WHAT ELSE WOULD IT BE? A GIANT BUG?

Shino: No, because I'm not stupid like you.

Kiba: OMGJNKSDHNSKJDSBSDHCFBH!

Shino: What?

Akamaru: He said I'm not stupid you prik-err I mean arf!

Kiba and Shino: 0-0.…………..

Hinata: Hey..umm..you guys..there's two guys here looking for Naruto-kun…

Kiba: Two guys huh? Send them over to the 5th hokage, she'll know what to do…..

Hinata: Write!

Rock Lee: you mean right.

Hinata: RIGHT RIGHT! ………

Does a bow and runs into a tree.

Shino: I'll tell her.

Akamaru: Okay Kiba the close is clear, now, let's start talking about those evil plans of ours….

Kiba: NO DAMMIT! You're just a dog…you're just a dog……

Akamaru: OBEY ME OR I'LL DO TO YOU WHAT I DID TO TED.

Kiba: NO ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Narrator: _Back to our heroes…_

Zabuza: And that's my plan.

Naruto: WHAT?! WHAT JUST HAPPNED?!

Rock Lee: I think the writer jumped to another scene so only we would know what Zabuza's plans were and not the readers…

Sailor Ino: That, or she was just too lazy to write it out.

Naruto: BUT I DIDN'T GET ANY OF THAT! FIRST HE'S ABOUT TO TELL US HIS PLAN THEN OUTTA NOWHERE IT'S KIBA AND SHINO! AREN'T THE READERS AS CONFUSED AS I AM?!

Rock Lee: Probably, but if they're still reading this, we have to be doing something right……..

Narrator: _Good thing Sasuke dies a lot, I think that's the only reason people read this damn thing. _

Sailor Ino: Okay, I'm bored. TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!

Does another pose.

Sailor Ino: SUPER, COSMIC, BUNNY OF THE MOON, COOL, UBER ATTACK, OF HEARTS AND STUFF…AND…

Zabuza: …….ya'know this is really pointless.

Sailor Ino: TACOS, SHINY THINGS, PUPPY DOGS……MUNKYS, COOKIE CRISP CEREAL…..

Naruto: Wow….she's doing a lot of dance moves just to kill Zabuza.

Rock Lee: SHHSH!

Sailor Ino: HAPPY FLOWER, SNICKERS, THIS STORY SUCKS,……ATTAAAAAAAAK!

Runs over to Zabuza and kicks him.

Sailor Ino: HAH! TAKE THAT!!!

Zabuza: Well that was…..

Zabuza then blows up.

Naruto and Lee: 0-0'…….

Sasuke: WTF JUST HAPPENED?!

Sailor Ino: I just did you guys a favor, and I even have a tip on where Sakura is.

Naruto: REALLY?! YES! NOW I WON'T MISS LAGUNA BEACH!!

Sailor Ino: But you're going to have to do me a favor first.

Rock Lee: What is it? We are in your debt brave scout or senshi…not sure if this is the dubbed version or not…but it's the only thing that is right, we owe you any request that you will ask of us, no matter how difficult it is.

Naruto: DAMMIT! Why did you just say that?! I was planning to rip her off.

Sasuke: Naruto, don't you have any shame? No matter what it is, we must do it, in order to find our stupid team mate who can't defend herself. Good thing I just randomly came back to life to remind you of your nindo-or ninda…or whatever it is we say all of the time.

Sailor Ino: I want Sasuke to kiss me on the lips!

Sasuke: Well I guess we'll never get Sakura then, let's go guys!

Naruto: HEY YOU HYPOCRITE! YOU'RE GOING TO KISS THAT FAT LARD OR ELSE! It is our NINDO right?

Sasuke: BUT I DON'T WANNA!

Rock Lee: I'll take his place!

Sailor Ino: NO! IT CAN ONLY BE SASUKE!

Geenie: DO IT OR I WILL KEEL YOU!

Sasuke: So? You're always killing me.

Geenie: Oh yeah, you think that's so bad? The next wrong move you make I'll start playing that American Idol bit with Sanjaya singing bathwater. It's soo bad your eyes will pop out of your head, and your tongue will melt in your mouth. How's that?

Sasuke: FINE! I'LL DO IT! JUST PLEASE HAVE MERCY!

Naruto: Just pretend she's someone else!

Rock Lee: Yeah! Like Sakura-san!

Sasuke starts to throw up.

Sailor Ino: Are you going to kiss me or not?

Sasuke: Alright, I can do this…….

Kisses her.

Ino starts to float around.

Sasuke: Actually, that wasn't-

Sasuke's eyes then starts to pop out and his tongue melts.

Sasuke: AHHH!

Naruto: Damn…Was it that bad?

Geenie: HAHAHA! I TOTALLY PLANNED THAT ONE! AHHAHAHA! Oh…is he dead?

Naruto: Lemme check….yup.

Geenie: Ooosp… OH WELL!

Sailor Ino: Sasuke! IS HE OKAY?!

Naruto: Yeah he's fine. Anyway, what was that tip?

Sailor Ino: But…I just kissed him and…

Naruto: Don't worry about him! Just give us the tip already!

Sailor Ino: UMMM…okay…..Well I heard from a source that Sakura is at Hot Topic with Gaara.

Rock Lee: HOT TOPIC?! WHERE DID YOU HEAR THAT?!

Sailor Ino: Let's just say I heard it from a friend of mine.

Naruto: Shikamaru?

Sailor Ino: No.

Rock Lee: Choji?

Sailor Ino: NO!

Naruto: Then who?

Sailor Ino: FINE I'LL TELL YOU! Sakura called me on my cell.

Rock Lee: WHAT? SAKURA CALLED YOU?! WHAT DID SHE SAY?!

Sailor Ino: Well she wasn't too happy about the kidnapping, but she did see some cute boys there and they were all looking at her and that she was all blushing and-

Naruto: WHY IS SHE AT A FRIGGIN HOT TOPIC?! JUST TELL US WHY! AND WHY DIDN'T SHE JUST CALL US?!

Sailor Ino: Oh…okay. Well 1) She didn't have any of you guys numbers so she had no choice to call me. And 2) She's in great danger! All of us are. An evil plan is happening before our eyes, and Sakura is the key to it. I don't know what Hot Topic has to do with it, but all I know is-

Naruto: Yeah yeah, the world is in danger blah blah blaaah…..Just which effin mall is she at?! I can't believe we had to go through all of that and it turns out she's at the mall!!! AH DAMMIT!

Sailor Ino: Oh! The one around the corner from here!

Naruto:…..you gotta be kidding me…

Sailor Ino: I'm not. Listen I have to go, but if you need help, use this.

Naruto: What is it?

Sailor Ino: A sailor Senshi/Scout phone card of course! Just dial the area code and contact me and the other Scouts-err or Senshi……..But I must warn you, it's only good for one chapter, so use it wisely.

Rock Lee: Thank you Sailor Ino!!!! We owe our lives to you!!!!

Sailor Ino: Right…..Just don't touch me.

Naruto: Well what are you waiting for?

Sailor Ino: Right.

Jumps into the air.

Sailor Ino: Good bye!! And Save Sakura, she owes me money! OH AND SASUKE! CALL ME!

Sasuke:……..Can't…breath…..

Naruto: Well that was completely pointless! Well let's go to Hot Topic already! Maybe they have a Ramen stand at the mall!

Narrator: _So, that ends our little Zabuza dilemma. But our heroes still have a huge journey ahead of them. Will there be anymore out of nowhere foreshadowing scenes? Who are those two strangers looking for Naruto? And why in the hell does that girl have a cell phone and not use it? And how in the hell can Akamaru talk? All questions soon to be answered in the next exciting chapter of….BAKALICOUS!! SO STAY TUNED! _

Naruto: PLEASE DON'T MY LIFE IS COUNTING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!

Sasuke: HEY! YOU HAVEN'T DIED YET! In fact…..

Naruto: AHHH! SASUKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN?!

Sasuke: COME BACK HERE!

Naruto: AHHHHHHHHH!

Throws ramen at him.

Sasuke: WHOA!

Slips on the ramen and breaks neck.

Naruto: NOOO! MY RAMEN!

Well that's the end of chapter 15.……and so what did you peeps think? I thought it was boring. But yeah………………and no offense to fans of Sakura, or Sanjaya…… even though Bathwater was terribly done. Sooooooooo…mummy..oh yeah! I was thinking of having the two strangers being from a different anime. Whoever can guess who and where will get a chance to appear in Bakalicious!!! So guess wisely. And sorry if this chapter sucked. The next one will be funnier. P.S.-the two strangers are from the same anime. Just a 'lil hint. SO START GUESSING! oh and i was just joking about the yaoi thing...or was i? DUN DUN DUNN! nah, i really was.


	5. Mew Mew Spew

So here we are at chapter………

Rock Lee: Five.

72!

Rock Lee: Sure…..let's go with that….

So…..what kind of role do you think you play in this epic thriller?

Rock Lee: I would like to believe I play the part of the hero, who all the ladies love.

Ummm……….sure let's go with that….

Rock Lee: AND I WOULD LIKE TO DEDIACATE THIS STORY TO MY SENSI!!! THE ONE AND ONLY GUY WHOEVER BELIEVED IN ME!!!

That's nice. So anyway! I WOULD LIKE TO PROUDLY ANNOUNCE THE 72ND CHAPETER OF BAKALICIOUS!!!!!! (insert cheering here) YAYAYAYAY!

Rock Lee: And we would like to start this chapter properly. So……..

HERE'S A COMMERCIAL MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSORS!

Sakura: Hey Naruto, how do I look in this dress?

Naruto: Like a fat disgusting pig on it's period eating little kids while smoking crack and making out with Orlando Bloom.

Sakura:…..

Naruto: UHHH…

Narrator: Need a moment?

Shoves a Twix bar into his mouth.

Naruto: MMMMSDSDSJKDFFFF!

Sakura: Oh Naruto!

Narrator: Chew it over with a Twix.

Naruto: NO!! THE COMMERCIALS ARE BACK!

Geenie: HEY! WRITING FAN FICS AREN'T CHEAP YA'KNOW!!! So shamelessly advertising to make some quick cash is the sacrifice I'm just going to have to take!

Naruto: ……YOU JUST WANT THE MONEY!!

Geenie: I PLEAD THE 18TH!

Rock Lee: You mean the 5th.

Geenie: uhhh…SMELL'YA LATER LOSERS!!

Runs away.

Naruto: From now on we ignore her.

Rock Lee: Agreed, but Naruto…..

Naruto: Yeah?

Rock Lee: HOW IN THE HELL DO WE FIND SAKURA IN A PLACE LIKE THIS!

Naruto:…..Well all we gotta do is find the directory.

Rock Lee: And where's that exactly?

Naruto: Ummm……isn't there a directory for the directory.

Rock Lee: So where's the directory for the directory that will take us to Sakura?

Naruto:……………….what?

Rock Lee: I'M SOO CONFUSED!

Sasuke: Why don't we split up?

Rock Lee: Yeah! That's a great idea! We'll all just look for Sakura in different directions! One of us are bound to find a Hot Topic.

Naruto: No way!

Sasuke: Why not?

Naruto: Like I'll let you two perverts get with Sakura alone, and try to take the credit for even saving the loser.

Sasuke: Perverts?

Rock Lee: DAMN HOW DID YOU-err I mean…no, Naruto you got the wrong idea.

Naruto: Oh really? Where did those bouquet of flowers and parade float with the words IT WAS ME WHO SAVED YOU SAKURA-CHAN come from?

Rock Lee: uhhh….

Throws the bouquet of flowers and pushes parade float away.

Rock Lee: What bouquet? Naruto I think you're paranoid, why would me or Sasuke ever do such a thing?

Sasuke: Yeah, if anything I hate her and am only saving her so you don't notice how more distant I'm becoming and how jealous I am of your powers, and that I have problems with you, and want to kill you.

Naruto: What?

Sasuke: ………HEY IS THAT SAKURA?!

Randomly points somewhere, runs away.

Rock Lee: I don't see her…..

Naruto: HEY!! WHERE DID SASUKE GO?!

Rock Lee: HE RAN OFF!!

Naruto: So that's how it's going to be huh? Fine. Bushy brow.

Rock Lee: Huh?

Naruto: From now on, it's a race. Whoever finds Sakura first, gets to-

Rock Lee: KISS HER?!

Naruto:……..fine whatever. (I was going to say buy me ramen)

Rock Lee: YES! IT SHALL BE ME WHO FINDS HER FIRST!!

Naruto: Get ready…

Rock Lee: Steady….

Naruto: GO!

Trips Rock Lee and runs off.

Naruto: HAHAHA! SEE'YA BUSHY BROW!!!

Rock Lee: Dammit!!

Starts running after him.

Narrator: _Meanwhile in the deepest depths of the 5__th__ Hokage's office…. _

Tsunade: Oh Tamaki…if only I were your Haruhi…….

Shino: Knock knock…..

Tsunade: Who's there?

Shino: Shino.

Tsunade: Shino who?

Shino: Just Shino, and two freaks who would like to have a word with you.

Tsunade: I don't get it…….

Shino: Just let me in!

Tsunade: Fine.

Shino: Are you reading Host Club?

Tsunade: Uhhh…

Quickly hides manga.

Tsunade: NO NO! UMMM…What's your business here anyway?

Shino: There's two weirdos here for Naruto, but you see Naruto is on a mission, sooo umm….I figured you knew where they are.

Tsunade: Uh-huh…….and you're sure they're not just here to sale us something or make us change religions?

Shino: If they are..I'LL KEEL THEM PERSONALLY!

Tsunade: Keel?

Shino: Yes, keel.

Tsunade: Alrightie, just send them in already.

Shino: Hey freaks, come in already.

Stranger #1: We're not freaks!

Stranger #2: Don't yell at him Nii-san!

Stranger #1: I DON'T CARE!! HE CALLED US FREAKS!

Stranger #2: Maybe that's their way of being nice.

Stranger #1: Say one more optimistic thing and I swear, I'll scream.

Tsunade: Come on in, freaks.

Stranger #1: I'll show you freak……..

Tsunade: So what's this about?

Stranger #1: We both came all the way from a total different anime to warn you.

Tsunade: To warn me? About what? And who are you?

Stranger #1: I'm Edward Elric, the Full Metal Alchemist.

Stranger #2: And I'm his little brother, Alphonse Elric!

Tsunade: Hey!! I read you guys manga before….no wait…that was Full Metal Panic…..AND WAIT YOU'RE THE YOUNGER ONE?! OMG IS HE A MIDGET?!

Ed: IM NOT SHORT!! I'M NOT A 'LIL BEAN!!! AND I AM NOT A MIDGET!! YOU HERE ME?!

Rock Lee: You mean hear.

Tsunade: Hey come down tiny Tim!

Ed: TINY TIM?! THAT'S IT!! LET'S GO AL!!

Al: No Ed, we came all the way from wherever the hell our anime takes place to here-wherever Kohana is.

Tsunade: Yeah you might as well tell us now, or else you appearing in this story would totally be pointless.

Shino: Totally.

Ed: Fine, I'll tell you. But only if bug boy hear leaves.

Shino: You mean here. (take that Lee)

Tsunade: No problem, he's creeping me out anyway.

Shino: Fine I'll go, but please tell Kiba to change that gay parade float he made.

Tsunade: No problem, and what's with all of those paren-peran-( ) these things?

Shino: Not sure….Well I'm off! Being unimportant again…god I hate my status in this anime…..

Leaves.

Ed: Okay anyway-

Narrator: _Back to Naruto!!!_

Ed: Hey! I didn't even explain yet!

Narrator: _Not my problem._

Ed: Jerk off…

Naruto: AHAHAHA! THOSE IDIOTS ARE TOTALLY SCREWED!! BECAUSE I GOT THE PHONE CARD!! AHAHAHA!

Gets out a cell phone.

Naruto: Where you at?

Dials numbers.

Naruto: Yeah Ino? Err-SAILOR Ino, yeah I ummm need'ya help…WHAT? Fine, I'll hold……hey..is that a ramen shop…?

Checks pockets.

Naruto: Damn! I left my wallet at home!! Oh man..I could really use some ramen now………….

Sailor Tin Tin: Hey Naruto, I came here to help you! Ino is currently busy!!

Naruto: THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE!!!!!! Wait..Tin Tin?

Sailor Tin Tin: THAT'S SAILOR TIN TIN THANK YOU!!! I am a scout or senshi for Ino.

Naruto: Why?

Sailor Tin Tin: BECAUSE I NEED THE MONEY!!!

Naruto: Okay okay! So you can help me then…….

Narrator: _A second later…._

Sailor Tin Tin: I really thought this was going to be Sakura related…not ramen related….

Naruto: BUT I HAD TO GET IT! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SOO GOOD, THAT MY HEART WILL STOP WHILE I'M EATING IT!!

Sailor Tin Tin: Has it stopped yet?

Naruto: No………….funny…..I feel perfectly fine.

Sasuke: Lala ditching them…..AHHH! MY HEART!!!

Falls over.

Narrator: _So this concludes this really crappy chapter of BAKALICIOUS! Will Naruto ever find Sakura? And what do the Elric brothers want to warn Naruto about?_

Ed: I was about to say it until you cut me off….

Narrator: _And where the hell is Sakura?! Will Sailor Tin Tin get the money she needs? And why do I keep even talking? FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN….bakalicious…. _

Okay….im done now…damn…this chapter was long..let alone lame……..eesh…so to all the ppl who guessed it right, except for the ones who wish to not appear, shall appear in the next chapter…………..and ooh…do I have plans for all of you……….wahahaha……..oy I was soo bummed out on how this chapter came out….kinda lame…….sooo yeah…review at risk.


	6. Author's Note

It has come to my recent attention that _Bakalicious_ has gotten too unserious and stupid for me to continue….I'm afraid to say that there will no longer be any Baka fun to go around anymore. For you see, it just has gotten too hard guys…I can't write in these conditions or under this pressure…. It's sooo stressful! I've been thinking about this for awhile and that explains why I haven't updated yet….Besides, nobody likes my dumb story anyway…I'm a failure as a writer….and that's especially the case here….Don't bother to beg me to change my mind, it's already been made. And I'm very sorry for all of you who review, there will be no appearance chapter. Nor will there be anymore chapters………For those of you who had bothered to read this piece of crap story…Thank you…..

Oh and look at the message on the bottom of this page...it's very important...

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APRIL FOOLS! Ahahahahahahahahahaha! I wonder if anyone fell for it! A new chappie of Baka shall be up within this week….depends how lazy I feel…but it's halfway there and i would just like to say thanks guys! YOU ROCK! yay!

Naruto: Well that was stupid...

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!


	7. IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

HEEEEYLO! SOOO WELCOME TO THE……hang on……carry the two….multiply by Q……..subtract the self esteem…and I got…..0 chapter of BAKALICIOUS! Now in this nonexistent chappie of baka, I would like to take my time and answer a question from a fellow reviewer and Sasuke will of course read it for me!

Sasuke: I don't know, I won't DIE if I do, will I?

Well you'll die if you won't.

Sasuke: damn…..okay, Stephy-Chan asks, is Sasuke going to turn into a Kenny? HEY!!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You sound exactly like my cousin!! Hmmm….well the answer is that I was obviously influenced by the idea, for you see, when I first keeled off the honorable yet arrogant stuck up jerky emo-

Sasuke: JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Okay okay! Well anyway, the truth is that I was bored one night and randomly started writing, and somehow I managed to keel off Sasuke. But since he was still needed in the story, I thought it would be funny if I always keeled him off. And yes-in a way I borrowed the idea from sp…..

Sasuke: So…you basically stole the idea.

You should shut your mouth if you wish to live.

Sasuke: I'll be good…..

Good, now……ummmm………….. Here's a break from our commercial sponsors! (Lee got more face time then Sasuke, how sad)

Konohamuru: AHHH! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS JUTSU!! IT'S SOOO DAMN HARD!!

Iruka: Yeah, all my students seem to be having trouble with their learning skills, what should I do?

Narrator: _Having trouble teaching your idiotic pupils? _

Iruka: Golly, I sure am!

Narrator: _Well all you need is the Hooked on Phonics Ninjutsu edition! _

Iruka: WOOOOW! What's that?

Narrator: _Hooked on Phonics is a special teaching program that helps idiots learn their ABC'S, but with this special Ninjutsu edition, your pupils can learn how to read scrolls, transform, and do the robot! _

Konohamuru: Wowzers! Will I really learn how to do the robot?

Narrator: _That and how to tie your shoes! _

Konohamuru: But I wear sandals…..

Iruka: So how does Hooked on Phonics work exactly?

Narrator: _Why let me show you! You take this average dumb looking kid-_

Konohamuru: HEY!

Narrator: _And throw him in this room here. And for two days you confine him and don't let him eat or drink, until he learns the jutsu. _

Iruka: Uhhhh…I don't think that's sanitary…

Narrator: _And if he still hasn't learned by the third day, you send in a bunch of wild monkeys to attack him._

Iruka:…….

Narrator: _AND if he still hasn't learned by the 4__th__ day, you play the best of James Blunt CD for two days straight. _

Konohamuru: ………

Narrator: _AND if he still didn't learn by the 7__th__ day, you send in this guy to teach him! _

Shows a picture of Orochimaru doing a thumbs up.

Iruka: Ummm..well….

Narrator: _Just ask actual ninjas who had Hooked on Phonics Ninjutsu edition help them as kids! _

Itachi: My dad had me use Hooked on Phonics Ninjutsu edition at the age of three! And look where I am now!

Standing behind a burning village while doing a thumbs up.

Narrator: _And if that doesn't help you believe the true magic of this wondrous learning program, we'll throw in two free beating sticks! JUST ORDER WITHIN THESE TWENTY SECONDS!! _

Iruka: Wow! I'm sure not going to buy this program!

Narrator: _Oh yes you will…._

Points gun behind his head.

Iruka: Err-I mean I sure am going to buy this program!

Narrator: _That's what I thought. _

Group of kids: HOOKED ON PHONICS! THERE'S NO REASON TO BE AFRAID!

Rock Lee: Naruto was right…these commercials are annoying…..Naruto….DAMN HIM!! I'LL NEVER FIND HOT TOPIC!! SAKURA!! I failed you…..

Akio Fukurou: HEY! Can you not whine soo loudly! I'm trying to enjoy my ramen here!

Rock Lee: Oh sorry…..hey where am I?

Akio Fukurou: Oh, inside a Hot Topic

Rock Lee: Come again?

Akio Fukurou: YOU'RE IN A HOT TOPIC!!

Rock Lee: Hot…Topic……..SAKURA!!

Akio Fukurou: NO IT'S JUST HOT TOPIC THERE'S NO SAKURA ABOUT IT!!

Rock Lee: NO!! MY LOVE SKAURA-SAN IS HERE!!

Akio Fukurou: Love eh? Wait…..did she have pink hair?

Rock Lee: YES!! YOU SAW HER?! WAS SHE OKAY? WHERE IS SHE?! AHHH!!

Akio Fukurou: CALM DOWN!! Yes I saw her, she was with this no eyebrow red headed munchkin kid right?

Rock Lee: YES!!

Akio Fukurou: Yup saw them alright! They just left!

Rock Lee: What?

Akio Fukurou: They just ran out while you were wasting your precious time talking to me

Rock Lee: You're kidding me right..?

Akio Fukurou: ACTUALLY I'm not

Rock Lee: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! SAKURA-SAN I COMING FOR YOU!!

Runs out of Hot Topic.

Akio Fukurou: Well how rude! If it wasn't for the fact Sasuke died in every chapter I wouldn't even review this story! HMPH….

Takes a bite of ramen.

Akio Fukurou: Wow! This ramen is soo good my heart should be stopping!

Narrator: _Where Sasuke is…. _

Sasuke: Stupid story stupid chapter stupid-AHHH!! MY HEART!!

Falls over escalator.

Sasuke: WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME?! WHY?!

Kiba: Hey Akamaru, I don't get it, why are we at the mall?

Akamaru: You fool! We're here to get weapons.

Kiba: At the mall?

Akamaru: Hmmm…well, also I saw this really cute poodle here once and I wanted to see her again and ummm….

Kiba: Yeah yeah, just don't get any girl dogs pregnant. Mom says she'll keel the pups for food.

Akamaru: And that comes from a woman that loves dogs and even looks like one.

Kiba: Whadd'ya say about my mama?!

Akamaru: SHOOSH! SOMEONE IS COMING! HIDE!

Pulls Kiba into random bushes that are in the middle of the mall for some reason.

Sailor Tin Tin: I could have sworn I heard Kiba talking to that creepy dog of his again….

Naruto: What I don't get is why you're still hanging around….Don't you have Scout/Senshi stuff to do?

Sailor Tin Tin: No, not really. Not to mention that unimportant characters like me will take any cameo appearance we'll get just so we can seem important.

Naruto: That would explain why Shino has been stalking us for the past twenty minutes.

Sailor Tin Tin: WHAT?!

Shino: DAMN! I've been discovered!

Naruto: Why were you stalking us?

Shino: Well actually I was looking for Kiba. Miss Tsunade wishes for him to change that retarded parade float of his. Somebody said he went to the mall, and I figured maybe you guys knew where he was.

Sailor Tin Tin: Sorry Shino, can't say I have….but I could have sworn I heard him talking to that creepy ass yet cute, dog of his…..

Naruto: Hey Shino! You wouldn't have happened to see Sakura around anywhere?

Shino: Nope….but there are two freak shows back at the village looking for you.

Naruto: THEY WEREN'T CIRCUS MIDGETS WERE THEY?!

Shino: I think one of them were….

Naruto: NOOOO!! IT WAS A ACCIDENT I SWEAR!! HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW CLOWNS ARE FLAMABLE!

Runs off screaming.

Sailor Tin Tin: Naruto! Wait!!

Shino: Wait…isn't it supposed to be Ten Ten? Why does it say Tin Tin?

Sailor Tin Tin: Wait a minute….YOU'RE RIGHT!!

Geenie: CRAP! THEY NOTICED THE TYPO! Time to take them out…..

Throws bricks at their heads.

Sailor Tin Tin: HAH! YOU MAY HAVE KNOCKED OUT SHINO! BUT YOU MISSED ME!

Geenie: CURSES! I guess I'll have to keel you off now!

Sailor Tin Tin: AHHH!

Runs after Naruto.

Geenie: COME BACK!

Akamaru: Sounds like they plan to change that float of yours…that's no good….

Kiba: Why?

Akamaru: If they demolish the float they'll discover the bomb I hid in there…

Kiba: WHAT?!

Akamaru: Exactly….time to get reinforcement…

Gets out cell phone.

Akamaru: Where you at?

Dials in numbers.

Akamaru: Yeah, we have problem..

Kiba: WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO?! WHO ARE YOU?!

_Narrator: Meanwhile….Back to Sasuke…_

Dancing Chicken: BA-BOCK!

_Narrator: SASUKE!! I SAID SASUKE! _

Shows a bunch of gay guys pouring sauce.

_Narrator: NOOO DAMMIT! SASUKE!! SASUKE! S-A-S-K-E….DAMMIT I SPELT IT WRONG! SEE WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU MAKE ME ANGRY! _

Sasuke: Calm down, I'm right here…..

_Narrator: OH THANK GOD! THAT WAS EXTREMELY FRUS-wait…why are you with a bunch of gay guys poring sauce..?_

Sasuke: UHHHH……

Runs off.

_Narrator: Okay, ummm..guys let's just go to Sakura or something because this is just..this is just……….can I get a cappuccino? Alright, yeah with foam…just go to Sakura…._

Gaara: Gimme that cell phone!

Snatches cell phone.

Sakura: I texted Ino by accident! I swear!

Gaara: Okay, I know in this story your tipsy and stupid, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid! Now they know we're here…..dammit!

Sakura: Well why did we go to the mall anyway?

Gaara: I needed new boots and clothes.. I've been getting fan letters telling me that these clothes make me look like I'm going to a strip cosplay party….

Sakura: But those are fun!

Gaara: Yeah for fan girls maybe….but not me!

Sakura: Well…..how about this Gaara, if I help you with your shopping, will you lemme go?

Gaara: You think I would fall for som-wait…..are you good at this what you call…shopping?

Sakura: PLEASE! Check out the threads bro! I obviously know everything there is to know when it comes to style!

Gaara: Hmmm…apparently soo…..alright I'll give you a chance…

Crosses fingers behind back.

Inner Sakura: CHA!! THIS GUY IS SUCH A MEGA DWEEB!! I'LL SWEEP HIM OFF HIS FEET AND THEN BOOM!! CHA! I'M SUCH A GENESES….

Gaara: You mean genius…

Inner Sakura: CHA! THANK YOU!

Gaara: (cough) moron (cough)

Sakura: KOONZOOTITE!

Narrator: _Back to the 5__th__ Hokage's office…_

Tsunade: Alright here's your chance shortie! This is where the plot finally thickens!

Ed: I'M NOT SHORT!! And what I was about to say was-

Tsunade: (cough) shortie (cough)

Ed: WHAT I WAS ABOUT TO SAY WAS-

Tsunade: (cough) shortie mc short short (cough)

Ed: WHAT I WAS-

Tsunade: (shortie) cough (shortie)

Ed: You didn't even do it right that time! That's it we're going Al!

Tsunade: No don't go shortie! I won't interrupt again! I promise!

Al: Yeah come on Ed, as the supportive brother who knows what to do is write-err right, it's my job to remind you to not be rude, and have patience….and….

Ed: ALRIGHT ALREADY!! AHHHHHH! EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP!

Tsunade:…..

Al:……..

Ed: Good! What I was going to ask you is if you are familiar with the term fan fiction?

Tsunade: YEAH! I READ FANFICTIONS ALL OF THE TIME! Especially HaruhixTamaki ones!!

Ed: Okay…well then you probably heard of this site…..

Tsunade: You mean eatmybooty dot com?

Ed: NO! EWW! HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF fan-fiction-dot-net?

Tsunade: Actually..no…I don't recall such a site existing..

Ed: Well it does, and it's the main reason I'm here..

Tsunade: You want to read fanfictions with me?

Ed: NO! Has any certain annoying girl characters gone missing lately?

Tsunade: Hmmm……….YEAH! IT WAS SOCK….SUCK….SAKE?

Ed: It wouldn't be Sakura would it?

Tsunade: Hmm…..maybe…

Ed: Damn it's just what I've feared!

Tsunade: Huh?

Ed: There's this conspiracy going around you see, and it involves this evil evil site…..

Tsunade: What's so evil about it?

Ed: It's soo terrible… It comes around invading animes, changing plots, crossing over with other animes….and not just other animes…video games and books…like HARRY POTTER! OH IT'S SOO HORRIBLE!

Tsunade: How do you know so much about this?

Ed: Our anime unfortunately was hit with this wave of evil..I mean at first we didn't notice….but it soon started to kick in….With me being all what these sick freaks call "OOC" and then things such as "OCs" came in randomly..But it got even worse….you find yourself changing…feeling things you've never felt before…doing things you would never dream of doing…..me dating girls, AND GUYS! And not just dating sometimes…..not just kissing……..oh god bad memories!

Al: Don't worry brother, I'll take it from here…You see Ms. Tsunade, there was this other form of evil on this site that was worse than any other thing that comes with it…..

Tsunade: What?

Al: Marysues……

Tsunade: Marysues?

Al: Yes…You see our annoying girl character Winry got kidnapped a couple of weeks back…..And at first we were baffled on as why, but soon enough the truth was revealed…..all annoying girl characters are being kidnapped from various animes, so they can form one annoying girl character…but wait it gets worse, that girl will have so many different personalities that it will eventually turn "OOC" and thus begins the ultimate evil….the ultimate Marysue character……..

Tsunade: HMMM…and to say this "ultimate evil" happens, how will it effect our lives?

Ed: It will confuse anime with manga, manga with anime, and anime with reality, and soon our worlds will collide causing a crack in the universe that will eventually lead us to our end…..

Tsunade: And I should care why?

Ed: Maybe this will convince you..

Shows a picture of Tsunade making out with Jiraiya.

Tsunade: OH DEAR GOD IT'S AWFUL!

Al: So you see our point now Ms. Tsunade?

Tsunade: Yes..yes I see….but how did you know about the plan and all of that other stuff?

Ed: When finally coming across this site, I found a forum boasting about this plan of theirs…..Their plan was to create the ultimate Marysue that will take over the world….or at least their role playing world or something gay like that….After reading the summary of this extremely stupid story, I knew this "tipsy Sakura" was a target…..

Al: And so we're here to warn you guys and pretty much reveal the plot.

Tsunade: WOOOW! This story had a plot?

Ed: Uhh..yeah… and I guess apparently we're looking for this Naruto guy….so we can help to stop this from happening..or something like that….

Tsunade: So if they plan to make the ultimate Marysue, then wouldn't that make this the ultimate fanfiction?

Geenie: HAH! I wish!

Al: So if you could kindly lead us to the trail of which this Naruto is on then we'll be more than happy to leave and try to stop this madness……

Tsunade: Nope! But I'm sure Jiraiya could help! He seems to be always taking random missions like this….especially when it comes to randomly finding people…….Here I'll call him now…

Gets out cell phone.

Tsunade: Where you at?

Dials in numbers.

_Narrator: Meanwhile where SASUKE is. _

Sasuke: I'll just wait out in the parking lot….hopefully I won't run into any of those freaks or die……

Bobman: Poke.

Sasuke: HUH?!

Bobman: I SAID POKE DAMMIT!

Pokes Sasuke.

Sasuke: WTF?!

Bobman: WELL MY MISSION IS NOW COMPLETE!! YAY!

Sasuke:……right……..

Bobman: Kat! AWWWAAAAAAY!!

Jumps up and flies off randomly.

Sasuke: Well that was weird…

Bobman: Oh and, Geenie requested I keel you with my laser beams.

Shoots Sasuke with lasers, Sasuke burns to death.

Bobman: NOW I'M OFF!! AWAAAAAAAY!

Geenie: Bye Kat! She's my frend!

Rock Lee: You mean friend. You spelt it wrong.

Geenie: DAMN THESE TYPOS!! WHY SPELL CHECK?! WHYYY?!

Gaara: Baka.

Narrator: _And thus ends this dramatic intensifying chapter of Bakalicious! Will Sakura's plan work? Will Sailor Tin Tin-_

Sailor Tin Tin: IT'S TEN TEN DAMMIT!

Narrator: _Err-Ten Ten…Will Sailor Ten Ten escape the wrath of the author and her easily noticed typos? Who's this Bobman?! And who in the hell is making all of this heart stopping ramen?! Will the Elric brothers find Naruto? And does Gaara actually attend strip cosplay parties?! _

Gaara: HELL NO!

Narrator: _There's this and much more to come in the next exciting chapter of BAKALICIOUS!! Stay inactive and keep reading!_

And so ends this tragic chapter. By the way, Bobman is a comic character me and my friend Kat made up. And since Kat guessed right, she requested to come into the story as Bobman. I'm not the type to advertise or anything, but if you're more curious about this character I'll put up a link to my dA account on my profile, and will hopefully soon be posting comics up. Oh and I hope you guys liked how I portrayed you in the story. It was actually pretty fun. I'm a slow ass updater but this story isn't too hard to write so I maybe updating soon…..BUT NO PROMISES! It's called tough love, deal with it! Sooo ummm………..what did you think of the "ultimate Marysue plot"? I'm curious to see if you guys agree with this idea……Kat pointed out that there are too many side plots… I guess there are huh? Haha, well I'm off! Hope all of you peeps liked this 0 chapter of Baka! GEENIE AWWWWAAAAAAAAY!


	8. Death Note Buhbye narrator

Hello Baka-fide moronic fans!! It's me!! Geenie ate me!! YAY!! And here we are at the-……….14th? 14th CHAPTER OF BAKALICIOUS!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!

Gaara:…that makes no damn sense…..

OF COURSE IT DOES!!

Gaara: UHHHH no it doesn't…

So you're defying me?! GEENIE THE GREAT!! HUH?! HUH?! WELL LEMME TELL YOU THIS!! I WILL EAT YOU IF YOU CONTINUE THIS NONSENSE!!

Gaara: ooh…I'm soo scared….

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT!

Gaara: I was being sarcastic.

What does spam have to do with this?

Gaara:….never mind…just..never mind…

Well anyway-

Gaara: Idiot.

WELL ANYWAY!! As I was saying…this is the 14th chappie of Baka! Yayayayaya! And I would like to read yet another question from a fellow reviewer who had the nerve to bother me when I was sleeping and having a dream about L!! And by read, I mean by GAARA to reading it!

Gaara: I'm not like Sasuke, I'm not afraid of you.

Oh yeah…well it just so happens that I have these embarrassing pictures of you at A STRIP COSPLAY PARTY!!

Shows Gaara the pictures.

Gaara:…..THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!! I DO NOT ATTEND THOSE THINGS!!

That's not what photoshop and deviant-art has to say……

Gaara:..damn you! Fine! I'll read the effin question! GIMME THAT!

Snatches letter.

Gaara: 19Kristyn94 asks, why does it take you forever to update?!

…….well 19Kristyn94.…you see..I…I umm….AM SECRETLY A SUPER HERO! And ummm well…while I'm out saving the world, I am way too busy to update this story..heh…heh…..yeah……

Gaara: That's total BS. You're just too lazy.

SHUT UP!! OR I'LL SHOW THESE PICTURES THE FANGIRLS MADE OF YOU!!

Gaara: Okay sorry!

And while I'm out doing super hero stuff….I tend to forget….about updating…and…I'M ALSO A SUPER SECRET SPY! AND A GIRL SCOUT! AND A ROCK STAR! AND A MAGICIAN! AND AND…and……..GOTTA GO!

Runs away.

Gaara: (sigh) Idiot….without further ado, here's a commercial or something gay like that….

Stephanie: Welcome to taco bell, how may I help you?

Itachi: Okay, do the beat.

Kisame starts beat boxing.

Itachi: What's up Stephanie, how you doing today? 89 cents is what we're going to pay. Say hello to Kisame he's in the back seat.

Kisame: Steph, gimme something big-

Both: WITH A BUCNH OF BEEF!

Itachi: 89 cent double cheesy burrito, why pay more that's big and cheap? Yo, so here's what were going to do. I want one, you want one too?

Looks at Kisame.

Kisame: I forgot my wallet….

Itachi: I gotta spot you?

Kisame: Yeah you gotta spot me….

Itachi: Whatever.

Kisame: THIS IS THE JAM!!

Narrator: _Taco Bell, why hear a Chihuahua brag about how effin good it is when you can hear two Akatskii members rap about it?_

Naruto:….well that was interesting….I wonder where the others are?

Sailor Tin Tin: Here I am!! That effin author finally got tired of chasing me and gave up! But Naruto-kun…why did you run away?

Naruto:….It's a long story…

Sailor Tin Tin: I got time.

Naruto: Well a long time ago….when I was five….

Watch starts beeping.

Sailor Tin Tin: Huh? Oh, it's my Scout/Senshi watch! It must be Ino! Hang on Naruto, lemme take this…..

Presses button.

Sailor Ino: Sailor Tin Tin-

Sailor Tin Tin: IT'S TEN TEN!

Sailor Ino: Yeah whatever, just listen to me! Kohona is in danger! I just discovered a bomb in the-(static) AHH HELP!

Sailor Tin Tin: SAILOR INO!! Oh no! Naruto! Kohona is-

Naruto: Yeah yeah I heard….she's pretty loud ya'know.

Sailor Tin Tin: I just lost contact with Ino! You understand that I have to-

Naruto: Yeah, I understand…you can go.

Sailor Tin Tin: Alright! See'ya around Naruto!

Flies up into the air.

Naruto: How do they all do that?!

Shino: Maybe it's the powah of love or something like that…

Naruto: Yeah maybe…AHH! SHINO! Where did you come from?!

Shino: Oh, when I regained consciousness I started to stalk you two again.

Naruto: Wow….that's really creepy…

Shino: Yeah…

Naruto: Well I'm going to go now….

Starts walking away.

Shino follows.

Naruto: HEY! Stop it!

Shino: Stop what?

Naruto: Following me!

Shino: Okay.

Naruto: Good.

Starts walking away.

Shino Follows.

Naruto: SHINO!

Shino: Yes?

Naruto: I said to quit it!

Shino: Quit what?

Naruto: Following me!

Shino: Oh…okay.

Starts to walk away. Waits. Keeps walking.

Shino Follows.

Naruto: AHHH! STOP FOLLOWING ME!!

Starts to run.

Shino runs after him.

Naruto: AHHH! WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME AL-AHH!

Bumps into somebody.

Naruto: Ow…sorry…

Gaara: Just watch where you're going next time…

Naruto: No problem jerk.

Sakura: Bye Naruto!

Naruto: See'ya Sakura…..wait a minute…SAKURA?!

Looks around. No Sakura insight.

Naruto: DAMMIT! The one time I find her and I have to screw it up! I'm not going to win this bet at this rate!

Shino: Wait a minute…you made a bet with Rock Lee, and Sasuke about who could find Sakura first?!

Naruto: Yeah…

Shino: A fellow ninja's life you're toying with over a stupid bet?!

Naruto: Pretty much.

Shino: Wow! That's low Naruto! I can't believe you would stoop down to that level! In fact, it sickens me! You know what, this friendship is over!

Runs off crying.

Naruto: Glad that's over….

Shino: Hey Naruto, sorry about the things I said earlier. Are we still friends?

Naruto: We never were friends in the first place!

Shino: Oh yeah that's right…well I'm going to go and find Kiba now…

Walks off.

Naruto: I better run before he returns!

Runs off.

Narrator: _Meanwhile where Sasuke is…._

Sasuke: It doesn't matter where I go…I'll be killed either way!! Why me?! WHY!! Hey..what's that?

Finds black notebook on the ground. Picks it up.

Sasuke: Death note? What is this?

Ryuk: Well it says DEATH NOTE take a guess smart one!

Sasuke:…AHHHH!! MONSTER!! UGLIER THAN SAKURA AHHH!

Ryuk: Calm down! I'm Ryuk the shinigami! And you boy are Sasuke Uchia.

Sasuke: How did you know that?!

Ryuk: I'm a effin shinigami! I kill for a living! You know how many times you died in this story?! A LOT! You're pretty popular in the shinigami realm.

Sasuke: Right…so this is it….I've finally gone insane….

Ryuk: NO! But if you don't stop being emo I'll take your soul!

Sasuke: Fine! Go ahead! It doesn't matter anyway…I get killed off in every chapter…TAKE MY SOUL YOU REAPER!

Ryuk: Humans are so dumb. Do you know what the Death Note is?

Sasuke: No….

Ryuk: Haven't you seen our anime on Adult Swim?

Sasuke: GOD NO!

Ryuk: I guess I have to explain then…(sigh) this gets tiresome….you see Sasuke when you get a hold of the Death Note, you own it. Whoever's name is written in this book will die of a heart attack. I wrote all of the stupid rules inside…for you see, this is my Death Note.

Sasuke: You mean..if I were to write..I don't know…Naruto Uzamaki…He would die?

Ryuk: Yes, he would die of a heart attack forty seconds after you wrote down his name.

Sasuke: …..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY!! I CAN GET REVENGE ON EVERYONE WHOEVER SCREWED WITH ME!! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Does a creepy smile.

Ryuk: Dammit…just like the last one I was forced to work with….

Sasuke:…well…I think I know what to do….

Narrator: _I don't get paid enough for this….WHERE JIRAIYA IS!_

Jiraiya: Oh Haruhi…If only your breasts were bigger you would be the perfect woman….

Tsunade: HEY MORON!!

Jiraiya: AHH!

Hides Host Club manga.

Tsunade: ……were you reading my Ouran High School Host Club manga?!

Jiraiya: NO-no…..so….what are you doing here? Finally here to confess your love to me?!

Tsunade: HELL NO!! I'm here to give you a mission. I mean I called you fifteen friggin times! I even went inside some of those nasty strip bars you go into just to find you!

Jiraiya: Oh Tsunade, you say mission, but I think you mean love….

Tsunade gets a giant rock out of nowhere. Smacks Jiraiya with it.

Tsunade: DO YOU THINK IT'S LOVE NOW?!

Jiraiya: No…..

Tsunade: Good! Now listen moron, I want you to escort these to-

Rock Lee: Two.

Tsunade: TWO! These two to Naruto.

Points at Ed and Al.

Jiraiya: A circus midget and a robot?

Ed: I'M NOT A CIRCUS MIDGET!!

Al: And I'm not a robot!!

Tsunade: Whatever. Think you can do that?

Jiraiya: Hmmm….what do I get out of it?

Tsunade: Well I'll show you what will happen if you won't.

Shows Jiraiya a picture of him and Orochimaru. (Just type in Orochimaru in the search bar, you'll be surprised by all of the fanfics with this pairing….and all you have to do is type in Orochimaru….that's the scary part..)

Jiraiya: AHHH!! IT'S SOOO HORRIBLE!! AHHHH!!

Tsunade: Now do you see the importance of this mission?

Jiraiya: …yes….

Tsunade: GOOD! Now I have to go and write a blog about my missing Host Club manga on myspace……

Leaves.

Jiraiya: Do either of you have any money?

Ed: Oh great, we're getting help from a bum.

Al: Ed don't be rude! Yes Mr. Jiraiya, here.

Hands Jiraiya his wallet.

Jiraiya: Thank you! I didn't know robots needed money! NOW LET'SA GO!

Mario: Hey you 'lil bitch only I Maario can say that!

Jiraiya: CRAP!! RUN!

They run off.

Mario: YOU DAMN NINJAS!! HOW IS A PLUMBER LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO MAKE A LIVING IF YOU STEEL ALL OF MY CATCH PHRASES!!

Narrator: _…God this chapter sucks….more than usual…I mean at least I can narrate the whole thing without bitching but geeze this just sucks!! It's so bad I feel like I'm going to throw up…_

Geenie: HEY!! ARE YOU A NARRATOR OR A FILM CRITIC?!

Narrator_:….you mean story critic._

Geenie: YA'KNOW WHAT?! YOU'RE FIRED!!

Narrator: _GOOD! I DIDN'T WANT TO NARRATE ANYMORE ANYWAY!! GOOD BYE! _

Walks out.

Geenie: FINE! LEAVE!! I CAN NARRATE THIS ALL BY MYSELF!!

Twenty minutes later.

Geenie: Yeah…..WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?! Oh yeah..can't jump to a scene without the narrator….hang on…I'm new to this….MEANWHILE WHERE…where….WHERE ROCK LEE IS!

Rock Lee: I could have sworn I heard someone laughing all evil like and saying they're going to get revenge on whoever screwed with them…must be hearing things…oh well…I just hope Sakura-san is okay…I mean she must be scared out of her mind!

Picturing it.

Gaara: WAHAHAHAHA! Now I can use your incredible beauty to make my dead girlfriend from god knows how long ago, beautiful again!!

Sakura: OH NO! If only that handsome devil Rock Lee was here to rescue me! AHHH!

Rock Lee: ARRG! You better not hurt a hair on her head GAARA! I vow that I will save you Sakura-san! If it's the last thing I'll do!!

Geenie:….what?! Oh yeah…MEANWHILE WHERE SAKURA IS!

Sakura: Wow that outfit looks nice!

Inside of a Hollister.

Gaara: Think so?

Wearing the clothes he wears in Shippendune.

Sakura: OH YEAH!!

Gaara: Well as long as it doesn't look like I'm going to no strip cosplay parties.

Sakura: NOPE! Want to go and get a orange Julius?

Gaara: Feh might as well.

They both leave.

Lady at the counter: Sir! SIR! You're supposed to pay for that sir!

Gaara: What?!

Looks all psychotic.

Lady at the counter: Umm…never mind!

Gaara: That's what I thought.

Leaves.

Lady at the counter: ……no place like home…no place like home….no place like home….

Geenie: God this is hard…BACK TO NARUTO!

Naruto: HEY! THERE'S SASUKE!! HEY SASUKE!!

Sasuke: Perfect timing.

Naruto: HEY!! HEY! HEY!! SASUKE! SASUKE!! OVER HERE!!

Sasuke: Yes Naruto I see you.

Naruto: Oh well…I yelled extra loud just in case! Oooh! What's that?! What are you doing?!

Sasuke: oh nothing… so Naruto, how have you been?

Naruto: Okay. But I still haven't found Sakura yet.

Sasuke: That's a shame….

Gets out Death Note.

Naruto: WHAT'S THAT?!

Sasuke: Just…a record….of stuff…

Naruto: OH! Can I see it?!

Sasuke: NO!

Naruto: OH COME ON!

Grabs Death Note.

Naruto: Hey…you didn't write your name in this…lemme do that for'ya.

Sasuke: NO!!

Tries to get it back. Naruto pushes him away.

Naruto: There's my pen! This book belongs to….

Sasuke: NO! NARUTO DON'T!

Naruto: Chillax won't you? This book belongs to…

Sasuke: I'm not going to die again! On second thought….Naruto wait! You can have this book! Since we're best friends and stuff…

Naruto: REALLY?! Wow Sasuke how nice of you! I'll write my name down instead.

Sasuke: Yeah…you do that…

Naruto: This book belongs to Nar-Nar…..hey Sasuke, how do I spell my name?

Sasuke: N-A-R-U-TO

Naruto: Thanks! Uz-…hey Sasuke, how do you spell my last name?

Sasuke: Gimme that! Uzumaki! THERE!

Naruto: Thanks Sasuke! You're so awesome!

Sasuke: Yeah…wahahahahahaha….

Naruto: What's with the evil laughter?

Sasuke: Oh nothing.

38 seconds later.

Sasuke: Hey Naruto.

Naruto: Yeah?

Sasuke: It's been real..WAHAHAHA-……AHHH!

Dies from a heart attack.

Naruto: OMG!! SASUKE!

Ryuk: Wow…that guy has no luck in this story….but I guess the Death Note is now your's.

Naruto: Yeah guess so-wait…who said that….?

Turns around.

Naruto: AHHH! IT'S OROCHIMARU!!

Ryuk:…..

Geenie:…..I don't feel like narrating… Kakashi you take over.

Kakashi: _Okay. Will Naruto ever reveal his tragic past about circus midgets?! Will Sailor Tin Tin-_

Sailor Tin Tin: IT'S TEN TEN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Kakashi: _Sorry. Will Sailor Ten Ten get to Sailor Ino in time?! Does Rock Lee have a over active imagination? Will Jiraiya lead the Elric brothers to Naruto?_

Ed: I doubt it.

Kakashi: _What's this Death Note? Will Tsunade ever find her long lost Host Club manga?! AND WILL THEY EVER FIND SAKURA?! Find out this and hell of a lot more in the next awesome over done scary chapter of MAKE OUT PARADISE!_

Geenie: Bakalicious.

Kakashi: _BAKALICIOUS! _

AND…cut! Okay that's a wrap for this terrible horrifying chapter of Baka. Hope you guys didn't pee yourselves too bad after reading it. And sorry for the slow ass updates. It's not easy being a super hero girl scout! And all of that other crap I made up! I mean….WELL ANYWAY…..looks like the narrator is gone…I wonder if anyone will miss him………


	9. Anniversary Bs 314pt 1

Bonjour! It is I GEENIE ATE ME!! Can I get a booya?

Crickets.

I SAID CAN I GET A BOOYA!

……..

AHHHH!! SOMEBODY SAY BOOYA FOR THE LOVE OF SANTA CLAUS!

Cyborg: BOOYA!

Well at least the Teen Titans are loyal to me!!

Sakura: I like cheese!

Right…..(sigh) OKAY WELCOME TO THE….what was the last random number I was at?

Sakura: 14!!

Oh yeah……so this one would be the….hmmm…..

Gets out a calculator.

PI!

Sakura:….I LIKE PIE!

NO! NOT THAT KIND!! 3.14! THIS IS THE 3.14TH CHAPPIE OF LE-BAKALICIOUS!

Naruto: What's with the cheesy French accent?

WELL! This chapter is the anniversary of when I first made up BAKALICIOUS!

Sakura: YAAAAAAAAAY!

Yes!

Naruto: So this the anniversary of when our torture first began?

THAT'S RIGHT!

Naruto: Damn….

So Sakura, how does it feel to be kidnapped by GAARA OF THE DESSERT!

Sakura: Well I-

Rock Lee: Sorry to interrupt, but you just typed dessert…

So?

Rock Lee: You mean desert, you see you wrote dessert meaning food….Desert, is a barren land full of dirt-

OKAY!! Geeze just please stop talking!!

Rock Lee: I'll stop as soon as I am done pointing out something else…

Son of-CENSORED BY THE NATIONAL INCORPORATION THAT IS DISNEY! YEAH, WE'RE RUINING YOUR FANFICTIONS TO BITCH. HOWZ THEM APPLES?

Rock Lee: Okay, now I'm going to refer back to the last chapter, and copy and paste a line from there….

Okay….

_Mario: YOU DAMN NINJAS!! HOW IS A PLUMBER LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO MAKE A LIVING IF YOU STEEL ALL OF MY CATCH PHRASES!!_

Rock Lee: See it?

See what?

Rock Lee: The problem.

What? The bad Mario joke? That was out of desperation, you know that Lee.

Rock Lee: No, that's not it, here I'll bold a certain word and then you'll see it….

_Mario: YOU DAMN NINJAS!! HOW IS A PLUMBER LIKE ME SUPPOSED TO MAKE A LIVING IF YOU __**STEEL**__ ALL OF MY CATCH PHRASES!!_

Rock Lee: Now do you see it?

Steel? WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?!

Rock Lee: That's the wrong kind of steel. You see, you want **STEAL!** Meaning that Jiraiya stole Mario's catch phrase and-

OKAY I GET IT!! IT'S THE WRONG KIND OF STEAL!! SOOO SUE ME!

Rock Lee: Well I'm just saying….

DO YOU ALSO WISH TO BE FIRED?!

Rock Lee: No…

THEN GO BACK INTO YOUR CAGE LIKE A GOOD LIL NINJA!

Rock Lee: BUT IT'S DARK IN THERE!!

Here, Orochimaru will keep you company.

Rock Lee: In a dark cage with no one around?!

Just drink this it'll make you feel better.

Rock Lee: But isn't this vodka?

UMM…no it's water!

Rock Lee: Oh okay!

Drinks it.

That's it…drink it all up…Okay Orochimaru, take him.

Orochimaru: That's not Sasuke! I don't even want to touch that thing!

…….I'll throw in Naruto if you shut up. Sasuke is dead at the moment.

Orochimaru: Hmmm…DEAL!

Naruto: WHAT?!

Hits Naruto with a bat. Naruto is knocked out.

Orochimaru: Thanks Geenie!

Yeah no problem just get your freaky ass away from me. Alright, now where were we?

Sakura: You asked me about desserts and then Rock Lee came and then I said I like Pokemon but nobody heard me and then a doctor came and then I started to balance plates on my forehead then a robot came down from Venus, no wait Mars yeah Mars so he was like I AM IRON MAN and I was like wow pie is good and then-

Just stop right there. Please, for all of that is good and holy, stop.

Sakura: But-

NO!

Sakura: But-

I SAID NO!

Sakura: BU-

NO DAMMIT!

Sakura starts crying.

AHH SON OF A- ONCE AGAIN CENSORED BY THE WONDERFUL WORKS OF DISNEY!

STOP CRYING!

Sakura: WAAAAAAAH!

Please?

Sakura: YOU WERE MEAN TO ME!! WAAAAAH!

PLEASE STOP! Oh god..this is the worst chapter yet….it's the anniversary of Baka and everything is going wrong!

Uggg..maybe it's not worth it anymore….

I have become a fanfiction whore….

And it's becoming such a bore…..

Maybe I should, walk out the door….

Sakura: What are you doing?

Breaking into song….

Sakura: UMMMM….Why?

I don't know…just shut up and listen!

Sakura: Okay!

Okay…where was I? Oh yeah!

My dreams are dying!

It's no longer worth trying!

I shouldn't have even bothered in the first place!!

My friends all laugh!

At this story and it's wrath!

And I feel like it's ruining my….pace?!

Sakura: AND SOMETIMES I WONDER WHY!!

Why what?

Sakura: WHY THIS CHAPTER IS NAMED AFTER PIE!!

I guess it all started when I returned!

This story was collecting dust, and it burned!

Sakura: Burned?

Well nothing else rhymed with returned! ANYWAY!

As I was typing away!! I forgot what chapter I left off and made a number up off the top of my head!!

When I did that I realized it got funnier with each time it was read!

So I continued to do it! Even if it threw reviewers in a total confused fit!

Sakura: And why am I so damn tipsy?!

Because I suck ass at writing characters personalities!!

Naruto: That would explain why all of your serious fanfics suck!!

Hey why are you back! What the fu-CENSORED BY THE WONDERFUL INCORPORATION THAT IS DISNEY!

AHHHHH!! DAMN YOU DISNEY! DAMN YOU TO-heck?

Sakura: What's with the censoring tech?

I DON'T KNOW!!

Naruto: Shouldn't we get on with the show?!

BUT IT SEEMS AS THOUGH WE CAN'T STOP SINGING!

Naruto: Is this more stupidity you're bringing?!

AHHHHHH!! This anniversary chapter is a failure!

Orochimaru: Oh there you are Naruto! Here lemme use this lure!

Naruto: AHH GET AWAY YOU FREAK!!

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE FAN GIRLS?! IT'S YAOI THEY SEEK!!

Naruto: NOT FROM ME!

Gaara: Yeah, those bastards need to die! They pair me up with Rock Lee!

Orochimaru: EEEE!

Sakura:…..? Even I found that dumb!

Oh God! This is no longer fun!!

Rock Lee: Is it because you miss the narrator!!

NEVER!

Naruto: You're in denial!

Sakura: Reconcile!

Sasuke: I'm surprised she knew a word like that!

Naruto: HEY SASUKE! You're back!

Sasuke: DAMMIT NARUTO! YOU KEEP KEELING ME!

Naruto: NO! IT'S GEENIE!

HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE FUN TO KEEL!

Sasuke: OH YEAH!

Runs after Geenie but slips on a banana peel.

YOU CAN'T KEEL ME!! I'M INVISIBLE!

Rock Lee: You mean invincible!

AHHH STOP CORRECTING ME!

Rock Lee: Sorry…

THIS IS MY ANNIVERSERY!

I still remember how this story first start….I was bored, and it was hitting the charts….

Ed: And somehow you effin involved us!

Al: Now Ed, don't cuss!

Ed: AHHH!! Between you and that old man, I'm not sure who's worse!

Jiraiya: Tsunade of course.

Tsunade: Just because I have a huge obsession over Tamaki!!

Tamaki: Even I find that creepy…

But I guess I'm straying from the point…Reading this story, you probably think I smoke a joint!! But now….this is the end….of my anniversary chapter!!

But first, there are some peeps I would like to thank that helped me make it through a whole year of this non sense!

ExplosiveNoteNinja: WOOO!

Explodes. (always wanted to type that)

AGENT KUMA-CHAN: HAH! Time to sleep….

Stephy-Chan: I WAS IN THE TACO BELL COMMERICAL! YAY!

(you're awesome because you're the only one who fell for that April fools joke, that made me happy)

Morning's Child: billybobjoejimbobbilly! HAHAHA! TAKE THAT GEENIE! I CAN BE WAAAY MORE RANDOMER THAN YOU! AHAHA!

19Kristyn94: This isn't even a actual chapter update cheapo….oh and…GILMORE GIRLS RULE!

Akio Fukurou: That was the best heart stopping ramen I ever tasted….

Bobman/Kat/Neko/Shiroinuchanbaka: YO! BOBMAN ROCKS!

And to all of my early reviewers, or to the peeps who still read this but are too embarrassed to review….thanks for taking your time for reading this story!

And you reviewers rock!! I hope I got your personalities down right….I just basically looked at past reviews and based a lot of it off that…

Naruto: Did you do this to cover up for the fact that you didn't actually write the chapter and wasted all of it on this so no one will be mad at you…..

…….umm….well……THERE WILL BE A PART TWO SOON!

19Kristyn94: How soon?

EEEP!

Runs off.

Hey kat…..take over…

Kat: (sigh) Okay, I hope Geenie didn't offend non of you guys and that part two should be up real soon…she wasted all of her time writing this and it's already the 9th today sooo yeah…..3.14 pt 2 should come around next week….she hopes you enjoy this lil break from it! And ummm…….DON'T GET MAD!

Elbows Kat.

Kat: Oh and….Hear no evil…Eat no evil?…And have no wild strip cosplay parties with evil…

DAMN!

Haven't wrote that in a long time! Hope all of you liked that musical number and if i forgot anyone to mention tella me!


	10. 314pt2 The Magical Amount!

Oshibaru: Since Geenie is currently busy with a bunch of crap, I'll be taking her place in this chapter. Hello, I'm Oshibaru. I'm a bear puppet. Screw with me and I'll bite your head off. So Geenie would just like for me to inform you about her internet turning off and the fact that she's now back in school and has soo much homework it's not even funny. Well, I find it hilarious, but that's what her post it note says. I do understand that each chapter starts with a commercial concerning the Naruto characters, she has readied that up for me….ummm….and it is also to my belief I am supposed to interview a Naruto character…..hmmm….shouldn't we just get on with the story? Well….screw it I'll do it.

Ryuk: WTF?!

Freaked out by Oshibaru.

Oshibaru: Hello ugly, are you……O…Oro…cha….chi?

Ryuk: Orochimaru?

Oshibaru: Yes! That's it!!

Ryuk: HELL NO!! I'M A DEATH NOTE CHARACTER YOU RETARD!!

Oshibaru:……….

Bites Ryuk's face off.

Ryuk: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Oshibaru: I could very well get used to this….yes….

Naruto: WTF?

Oshibaru bites Naruto's face off.

Naruto: AHHHHH!! WHAT IN THE- STILL CENSORED BY DISNEY!!

Oshibaru: Need more….more…

Hinata: Aww…look at the little cute bear puppet…awww…

Oshibaru starts chasing her. (I would feel bad if Oshibaru bit her)

Hinata: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO THAT FORTUNE ABOUT ME GETTING CHASED BY BEAR PUPPETS!!

Oshibaru: While I'm trying to get more blood, watch this commercial that sponsors this crap!

_SASUKE BOPPERS! SASUKE BOPPERS!_

Sasuke: Wtf?!

_THROW HIM UP! AND PUT YOUR KUNAI INSIDE!_

Sasuke:…..

_MORE FUN THAN JUST WATCHING HIM DIE!!_

Sasuke: THAT ISN'T FUN FOR ME!!

_AND IF HE DOESN'T DIE, BEAT HIM WITH AN ALUMINUM BAT!_

Sasuke: WHAT?!

_AND IF HE STILL DOESN'T DIE, THEN TAKE HIM IN A ROOM AND COVER HIM IN RATS!!_

Sasuke: You sick mother-_DISNEY LOVES YOU!!_

_AND IF HE STILL ISN'T DEAD, THEN SHAVE HIS HEAD AND POUR ACID ON HIS FACE!!_

Sasuke:…..

_THIS IS THE FUNNEST GAME!!_

_SASUKE BOPPERS!!_

Kakashi: By Milton Bradley.

Naruto:….Man this story is getting weird…

Ryuk: Yeah especially with the fact that it doesn't even make any sense….

Naruto: Feh, most animes don't make sense.

Ryuk: Good point.

A light flashes and Sasuke falls from the sky.

Sasuke: AHHHHHHH!

Falls in spike pit. Dies.

Naruto: I think he just came back to life and died again….

Ryuk: Haha this is funny….

Light flashes again, Sasuke falls out of sky.

Sasuke: AHHHHHH!

Lands in mine field. Blows up. Dies.

Ryuk: Hyuk! I can watch this all day!

Light flashes AGAIN, Sasuke falls.

Sasuke: OKAY! THIS TIME I PREPARED!!

Pulls string to parachute.

Sasuke: HAH!

Anvil comes out.

Sasuke: Son of a bit-HANNAH MONTANNA!!

Kakashi: _The anvil then lands on Sasuke's head thus pulling him down faster. When Sasuke finally lands the anvil crushes him to death. Then a bunch of dogs come and chew on him. _

Naruto: I am soo glad I'm not him.

Ryuk: Yeah, he wrote your name in the Death Note and somehow he died……It still confuses me but hey, it's funny.

Naruto: Yeah….what confuses me is that Sasuke and I are BFF and that he tried to keel me!! Why Ryuk?! WHY?!

Ryuk: Ummm……maybe because he doesn't like you?

Naruto: THAT CAN'T BE IT!! IT MUST BE OROCHIMARU'S FAULT!! NOW INSTEAD OF OBSESSING OVER BECOMING THE BEST NINJA EVER I WILL OBSESS OVER SASUKE BETREYING ME!! AND IT WILL GO ON TILL THE NEXT SERIES COMES ON AND WE'RE ALL OLDER! BUT NOT THAT OLD ONLY LIKE 14 BUT FOR SOME STRANGE REASON WE ALL LOOK 20!! Well….I look 14.….but Sakura…..damn….but Hinata developed more….if ya'know what I mean….

Ryuk:…..Ummm…..

Light comes out of sky again.

Kakashi: _BUT THIS TIME HE LANDS ON GAARA!!_

Sasuke: Ow…

Gaara: GET OFF OF ME FAT ASS!!

Sasuke: Fine fine. Asshole…

Sakura: SASUKE!! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!

Sasuke:…….If I say yes, will you try to annoy me? And stalk me. And…..try…..

Sakura: YES!

Sasuke: Then no, I'm not Sasuke…I'm just….Ash…Ash umm…Ketchum….from…damn….Pallet Town…..

Sakura: Oh…….Okay…..

Gaara: I hate Pokemon! SAND COFFIN!!

Gaara then crushes Sasuke to death.

Sakura: What's your problem?!

Gaara: I JUST REALLY HATE POKEMON!!

Sakura: Why?!

_FLASHBACK!_

_Random kid: GAARA CAN'T PLAY POKEMON BECAUSE HE'S A POKEMON HIMSELF!_

_Kid Gaara: AM NOT!_

_GROUP OF KIDS: GAARA IS A POKEMON! GAARA IS A POKEMON! AHAHA!_

Gaara: I'm not a pokemon…

Sakura:….

Starts to back away.

Kakashi:_ Meanwhile where Tsunade is…._

Tsunade: WHAT?! IT CAN'T BE!! IT'S SOOO HORRIBLE!!

Kakashi: _WHAT?!_

Tsunade: Nobody replied to my blog about my missing Host Club manga….

Kakashi: _Oh….._

Tsunade: Well now that I got the whole myspace thing out of the way I guess I should research that whole fan-function-

Rock Lee: Fiction.

Tsunade: Fiction, and see if that Elderon-

Rock Lee: Elric.

Tsunade: Elric kid was right…..

Goes into FAN-FICTION-DOT-NET. (I know it looks weird but the site won't lemme put web addresses up……)

Tsunade: OOOH! They have a section for TV shows! I wonder if they have Dawson's Creek….

About to click on it.

Tsunade Angel: NO! BAD TSUNADE!! As 5th Hokage you need to check the important things out first, then the fun things……

Tsunade Devil: Oh don't listen to that old bag Tsunade!! Go ahead, click on it….Dawson's Creek has been there for you on every lonely dateless night, so why not now?

Tsunade Angel: No!! Don't listen to her!! What would the 3rd Hokage do?

Tsunade: Hmm……..

Thinking about it.

3rd Hokage: I would rent a bunch of porn at Block Buster and buy a 12 pack of beer, but that's just me….

Tsunade: Well….That doesn't help much….

Tsunade Devil: Exactly, and that's why you should click on it…

Tsunade: Hmmmmm….

Tsunade Angel: Ya'know with this kind of messed up logic you got it's no wonder you have a bad gambling addiction….

Tsunade: HEY! I CAN QUIT WHEN I WANT TO!!

Tsunade Devil: Oh yeah when? If you're fat ass is not on the computer then you're out gambling….

Tsunade Angel: HAHA that is sooo true!

Tsunade: HEY!!

Tsunade Angel: I mean the fact she's talking to us proves she has lost it…

Tsunade Devil: Yeah I know!

Tsunade Angel: Well I'm bored of this, I'm going back home to strip in front of a bunch of hobos…

Tsunade Devil: HEY! I'LL WATCH!

Both disappear.

Tsunade: …….Screw it! I'll just look at this whole conspiracy crap now!!

Goes into anime section. Clicks on Naruto.

Tsunade: Wow……all these stories suck…..Sakura is trapped in a well, Sasuke finds her and saves her…..Rated M for sexual content…..LAME! Hmm….After Naruto's and Sasuke's fight, they both realize what they feel for each other is more than admiration, it's love….EWWW! Hinata gets sick of being ignored and begins to cut herself….When Neji finds out he is first outraged, but then realizes how much he cares for his cousin….OMG LAME! Oh wait…..This one sounds interesting…..Tsunade goes onto FAN-FIC-DOT-NET, she looks through a summary of stories in the Naruto section….She then gets mobbed by a bunch of fan boys?

Group of fan boys: HYAH!

Tsunade: AIIIIEEEE!!

Kakashi: _Where Jiraiya is…._

Jiraiya: Okay boys!! Cough up the dough!

Al: But Mr. Jiraiya you took all of my money….

Jiraiya looks at Ed.

Ed: THERE'S NOWAY IN HELL I'LL LEND MONEY TO A BUM LIKE YOU WHO ONLY SPENDS IT ON GIRLS AND RUM!!

Jiraiya: Hey hey, calm down shortie I was only going to ask for a couple of dollars-err yen.

Ed: I'M NOT SHORT!!

Goes on typical psycho insecure about his height rampage.

Al: ED!! Calm down you're making a scene!!

Jiraiya: Yeah….people will start thinking I'm crazy if you keep acting like that around me.

Ed: YOU ARE THE CRAZY ONE!! Give me one good reason why we should give you money?! HUH! I mean we go out of our way to warn your anime about this greater evil and you try to milk us in the process of helping you!!

Jiraiya: That's not true….

Ed: Oh yeah?? Then where the hell is this Naruto guy at? I mean you were supposed to help us find him right?!

Jiraiya: Hey that's not fair, these things take time….

Ed: AND TIME IS SOMETHING WE DON'T HAVE!

Jiraiya: Well I'm sorry Ted-

Ed: ED!

Jiraiya: Whatever, it's just hard for me to do missions like this anymore…..even if I still am strikingly handsome and young looking, I'm actually quite old….these bones are just too weak to, go faster….and my lungs, oh my poor lungs…..I may die from air loss in my lungs if I don't get the money to pay for my operation….(cough) But that's okay, at least I'll die…..trying…(cough) (cough)

Al: Oh! You poor old man!! Here we are dragging you around while you're dying!! Ed give him some money!

Ed: HE'S LYING!!

Al: ED!! How could you say that?!

Jiraiya: It's okay (cough) Mr. Robot…..if your brother wants to be cheap let him be cheap….

Ed: CHEAP?!

Al: Come on Ed! Look into his eyes and tell me those are the eyes of a liar?

Jiraiya does puppy dog eyes.

Ed: Fine fine!

Gives money to Jiraiya.

Jiraiya: Thanks (cough) kid….now I can get that liver operation….

Ed: …..Liver? Funny I could have sworn it was your LUNGS!

Jiraiya: Uhh…..

Runs off.

Ed: COME BACK HERE YOU BASTARD!!

Kakashi: _Back to Lee!_

Rock Lee:…..I've failed you Sakura…I'm sure by now Sasuke or Naruto had found you….I guess this means that your beautiful lips will not be mine….

Random Voice: LEEEE!

Rock Lee: Who said that?! Gai sensei?!

Random Voice: Noooo Leee!! I am your conscience…..

Rock Lee: My conscience?

Random Voice: Yes Leeee, I am the heart behind your thoughts……

Rock Lee: Really?!

Random Voice: Yesssss….Now Lee I can tell your feeling bad over that Sakura girl….

Rock Lee: Yeah….

Random Voice: Well don't give up Leeee, you still have a chance to save her!!

Rock Lee: How?

Random Voice: Just believe in the power of loooove!

Rock Lee:…Oh I see! You want me to use my love for Sakura as a motivation to save her!

Random Voice: Yeah sure whatever…

Rock Lee: I WON'T LET YOU DOWN RANDOM VOICE!!

Random Voice: GOOD! Now goooo Leeee….Goooooo!

Rock Lee: I'm going! Sakura, here I come!

Runs off.

Shino: WAHAHAHA! I knew he would fall for it! I set up a trap and with that trap he will be trapped and gone forever then I'll be the one who can correct everything!! WAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

Rock Lee: It seems that random voice is laughing, he must have thought of something funny…Oh well….I'LL SAVE YOU SAKURA!!

Skips over bear trap.

Rock Lee: LALALALA!

Shino:……GRR!! No matter I'll just set another one!

Somehow gets ahead of Lee, digs a whole, and covers it with a bunch of leaves.

Shino: Crap! Here he comes!

Rock Lee: LALALA!

Skips over pit.

Rock Lee: LALALA!

Shino:………WTF?!

Gets paint and paint brush out of nowhere. Paints tunnel into rock.

Shino: HAH!

Hides in bushes.

Rock Lee: LALALA!

Skips into tunnel.

Shino: But how the?!

Tries to run into tunnel, gets smashed in the face.

Shino: Uggg…..this means war!

Reviewer: WAIT! STOP THE STORY!

Oshibaru: WHAT?!

Reviewer: Okay, this is very confusing…weren't they in the mall?! How did all of these things come to be in the mall?!

Oshibaru: Ummmm….well…..

Reviewer: This story doesn't even make sense!

Oshibaru: Well, plenty of people already pointed that one out genius.

Reviewer: I mean, isn't the narrator made to tell us where he is? This new narrator sucks.

Oshibaru: Wait a second…

Throws Oshibaru puppet.

Geenie: YOU'RE THE OLD NARRATOR!!

Reviewer: That's correct Geenie.

Geenie: WHY IN THE HELL ARE YOU INTERUPTING MY STORY?!

Reviewer: I thought I would become a reviewer of your story. You can't really fire me from that…

Geenie: ……..AHHHHH!! STOP TRYING TO MOCK ME!!

Reviewer: I'm not mocking, I'm reviewing. And now, I think you should explain to the rest of us reviewers, why Rock Lee is suddenly in the forest…

Geenie: SCREW YOU!!

Gets Oshibaru puppet.

Oshibaru: Son of a-LIFE WITH DEREK! Geenie why did you throw me?! And what's with Disney censoring everything?!

Disney Sponsor: Oh were in the process of dubbing your story.

Oshibaru: WHAT?!

Disney Sponsor: Now I suggest you go to the next scene, we have to be at a Mickey Mouse Ice show in 20 minutes.

Oshibaru: You ba-BUNNIES!

Kakashi: _Meanwhile where Kiba and Akamaru are…._

Kiba: Okay Akamaru, explain everything to me!

Akamaru: Okay I will, but I can't do it here….we need to get outside of this mall….

Kiba: Fine!

Both walk out of mall.

Kiba: Okay, now tell me what in the hell-o Kitty is going on!

Akamaru: You won't like it once I tell you…

Kiba: No, humor me!

Akamaru: Kiba,

Kiba: Yeah?!

Akamaru: I am…

Kiba: YEAH?!

Akamaru: The-

Itachi: Oh hey there you are boss!! Kisame is getting beaten by a group of old ladies for scaring their grand kids again…

Akamaru: I'm the leader of the Akatsuki!

Kiba:….WHAT?!

Akamaru: I thought I made it quite clear that I'm the leader of the Akatsuki…

Itachi: I thought it was spelt Akatskii…

Akamaru: I have no effin clue….

Kiba: You mean to tell me my best friend, my dog is the leader of the Akatsuki?!

Itachi: Or Akatskii…

Kiba: WHATEVER!! BUT AKAMARU, HOW, WHY?!

Akamaru: You wanna know why?!

Kiba: And how…

Akamaru: FINE! I'll tell you why and how!!

Itachi: Hmm.Is this going to end up in flash back?

Akamaru: Yes! Now quiet you….

Itachi: Yes sir..

Kiba: This is weird…

Akamaru: It started right before you got me Kiba…right before then…with my first owner….

_FLASHBACK!!_

Akamaru: He was a quite young boy….Never caused problems…but he never loved me…

Itachi: Awww…

Akamaru: Didn't I say quiet?!

Itachi: Sorry…

Akamaru: Anyway, he never loved me. Never paid attention to me…He never he even petted me….I was a gift for him for his birthday….and you know what he said when he first got me?!

Kiba: What?

Akamaru: He said…

_Boy: A stupid mutt?! _

Akamaru: He never liked me because he thought I was too stupid!! So I taught myself how to talk!! But before I could show him he gave me away to your mom!! So now, I want to take over Konoha and prove to him how smart I really am!!

Kiba: Who was the kid?

Akamaru: Negi Hyuga.

Kakashi: _DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN!!_

Kiba: Akamaru, Negi is a asshole to everyone…Don't let his assholeness make you become a cold and bitter..puppy? I'm just saying, if he never gave you to my mom we would have never became such a great team!! Come on Akamaru, remember the good times we had in Konoha?! The missions we did together?! You can't turn your tail on that! You can't turn your tail on Konoha!

Akamaru: Maybe your right Kiba…We did have some good times….

Kiba: YES WE DID!

Akamaru: But…not good enough.

Itachi: Yes!

Akamaru: Now you've proved yourself loyal, but will you join me in the destruction of Konoha Kiba?

Kiba:…Why me?

Akamaru: Like you said, we do make a great team…

Kiba: Uhhh…

Itachi: Join us and everything you ever wished for will come true…

Akamaru: Yeah Deidara got that sex change he wanted…

Kiba: Anything I want?

Akamaru: Anything you want.

Kiba: Hmmm…

Kakashi: _Back to Naruto!!_

Naruto: Hey Ryuk, how does the Death Note work anyway?

Ryuk: Read the rules on the inside I don't feel like explaining…

Naruto: But they're in English!

Ryuk: So is this story….

Naruto: Yeah, but I'm still Japanese or….whatever Konoha is….

Ryuk: Got any apples?

Naruto: No…But I got this heart stopping ramen..

Ryuk: Feh, I like apples better…

Naruto: HEY!! YOU GOT WINGS RIGHT?!

Ryuk: Yeah?

Naruto: Can you fly over the mall and see where Sakura is?!

Ryuk: If you get me a dozens apples maybe…

Naruto: Aww…where in the hell am I going to get a dozen apples?!

Ryuk: Not my problem…I'm your witness, not your guardian angel.

Naruto:…I wish I never got this thing!

Ryuk: Yeah especially with the fact it basically seals your fate…

Naruto: WHAT?!

Ryuk: Nothing nothing…

Naruto: Are you hiding something from me Ryuk?

Ryuk: No no….

Naruto: Yeah you are!

Ryuk: No I'm not!

Naruto: Then what's that behind your back?

Ryuk: Nothing….

Hiding 13th book of Death note.

Naruto: STOP LYING!!

Jiraiya: Oh come on kid…it was just a joke…I'll take you to Naruto now…

Backed up against a wall.

Ed: No second chances…

Al: Ed…Calm down..

Ed: NO!! THIS GUY IS GOING TO GET IT!!

Jiraiya: But but…I SWEAR! I KNOW WHERE HE IS!!

Ed: Oh yeah? Where?!

Jiraiya: Ummm…He's..he's…

Ed: You don't know where he is…do you?!

Jiraiya: Yeah umm he's-

Naruto: GIMME THAT BOOK BEHIND YOUR BACK!

Jiraiya: Huh? Naruto?

Ed: What? Who was that?!

Jiraiya: I hear Naruto…

Ed: Where?!

Al: Is that him in the orange jumpsuit over in that parking lot over there?

Jiraiya: Yeah! That's him! Told you I knew where he was!

Ed: Uh-huh….I guess I'll forget about killing you for now…

Jiraiya: Come on! Let's go!

All of them start walking over there.

Naruto: Why are you laughing at me Ryuk?! What's soo funny?!

All three of them hide in bushes.

Ed: Why is he talking to himself?

Jiraiya: I don't know…

Al: Doesn't seem like anybody else is there…..What's going on Mr. Jiraiya?

Jiraiya: Maybe…he's…

Ed: What made a imaginary friend?! Don't tell me this guy is nuts!

Jiraiya: He seemed fine the last time I saw him…maybe he's just really tired..

Naruto: I'm wide awake Ryuk!! I know that you're hiding something from me!

Jiraiya: Okay…maybe he's hungry…

Naruto: And I'm also full of ramen!!

Jiraiya: Well umm…maybe he's just joking around..

Naruto: I'm completely serious about this!!

Jiraiya: Okay…he's lost his mind.

Ryuk: Hey Naruto, who's those guys staring at you in those bushes?

Naruto: What?!

Turns around.

Naruto: AHHH!! IT'S SHINO ISN'T IT?!

Jiraiya: Actually it's us…

All three of them come out.

Naruto: Pervy Saige?

Jiraiya: Yeah, these two freaks want to tell you something related to Sakura's kidnapping.

Ed: We're not freaks!!

Al: Ed, calm down!!

Naruto: Really?! Wow I'm meeting all kinds of weird people…

Jiraiya: Yeah…

Naruto: Oh this is Ryuk…

All three of them stare at Naruto awkwardly.

Naruto: Yeah I know, he's very very very scary looking…

Jiraiya: Umm Naruto….You feeling alright?

Naruto: GREAT! Why do you ask?

Jiraiya: Well…you see…

Ed: THERE'S NO ONE BEHIND YOU!

Naruto: WHAT?! Yes there is!! See? Ryuk's right here! Can't you hear him laughing?

Al:….Maybe we should go…

Naruto: No! You said had something to tell me!

Ed: What good is it going to do if your psycho?!

Naruto: I'm not psycho!! Tell them Pervy Saige!!

Jiraiya: Don't involve me in this kid…

Naruto: What?! But Ryuk is right here!! Tell them Ryuk! Why are you laughing so badly?!

All three of them start backing away from Naruto.

Naruto: Wait guys! Don't go!! Ryuk!! Do something!!

Ryuk: Hyuk Hyuk….Okay, I guess I should tell you.

Naruto: Tell me what?!

Ryuk: Unless they touch the Death Note, they can't see me…

Naruto: Oh…..

Jiraiya: Umm we'll just go now…

Naruto: NO! WAIT! TOUCH THIS!!

Jiraiya: What?!

Throws Death Note at Jiraiya's head.

Jiraiya: OW! Naruto! What in the hel-AHHHHH!!

Ryuk: Hello.

Jiraiya: What is that thing?!

Ryuk: I'm a shinigami, not a thing…

Jiraiya: Whatever!! What is it?!

Ryuk: I just explained that I'm a shinigami…

Ed: Why are you screaming? What is this thing?

Picks up Death Note.

Ed:…AHH!! IT'S ENVY ON CRACK!!

Ryuk: HEY!

Al: Lemme see!

Picks up Death Note.

Al: AHHHHHHHHHHH!! SOOO SORRY FOR SCREAMING BUT YOU'RE FREAKY LOOKING!! SORRY FOR CALLING YOU FREAKY!! I'M ALSO SORRY FOR HIDING!!

Ryuk: No problem, this is hilarious…got any apples?

Kakashi: _Will Ryuk ever get his apples?! Will Kiba help Akamaru destroy Konoha?! Will that prick of a reviewer ever leave?!_

Reviewer: Don't count on it.

Kakashi: _..YOU BETTER WATCH OUT._

Reviewer: Yeah yeah, just finish up already.

Kakashi: _Will Sakura ever get rescued?! Will Gaara ever get over his traumatic experience with pokemon?! Will Sasuke ever outlive the next chapter? What about Tsunade? Is she a goner?! And what about Konoha?! Will it be blown up to pieces?! Find out this and much much much much more in the next extreme confusing tasty story of Gone with the Wind!!_

Oshibaru: BAKALICIOUS.

Kakashi: _BAKALICIOUS!!_

KAY! DONE! So….how was it? Sucky right?! Sorry about not updating when I said I was going to….a lot of crap came up…towards the end of July my internet was turned off for two weeks…sooooo yeah….I hope you guys like it and it doesn't seem rushed….I get piles of homework now so expect slower updates….oy….DAMN YOU HOMEWORK DA-DISNEY APOLOGISES FOR THE CONSTANT CURSING!! WE SHALL RECALL ALL COPIES OF THIS STORY!! JUST SEND IT IN!! I shall try to update soon!!


	11. 4kids, Giant Meat balls, and bears oh my

HELLOOOOO!!!

Ed: Oh dear god…here it comes…

HAHAHHAHAHA! YES YOUR TORTUREOUS TORTURE HAS BEGUN!!!

Ed: NOOOOO!!

AND I SHALL START WITH THIS TORTUREOUS TORTURE BY FORCING YOU TO READ A LETTER!

Ed: ANYTHING BUT THAT!!

Yes…THAT!

Hands him letter.

NOW READ YOU FOOL!!! REEEEAAAADDDD!!!! OR DIIIIIIES!!!

Ed: Okay okay! Ummm…wait…these are just photos of-

Takes photos.

OOPS WRONG ONE!

Ed: Was that Gaara and-

YOU SAW NOTHING!

Ed: But-

NOTHING!

Anvil sits above his head.

Ed: OKAY I SAW NOTHING!

That's what I thought.

Anvil magically disappears.

OH! Here's the letter!

Ed: Okay, Stephy-Chan wishes to know if she can draw the invisible invincible scene?

HMMM…Yeah sure! Go nuts!! Tell me if you do it and when you finish so I shall see!

Ed: NOW HERE'S A MESSAGE FROM OUR SPONSORS!

4kids Sponsor: Hold on! Hold on!

What?!

4kids: Are you Geenie ate me?

Yeah…..

4kids: Well Geenie I'm here to inform you that Disney gambled-err I mean gave their contract of this story to us. So we are now officially dubbing this story!

WHAT?! But it's already in English!

4kids: We are aware of that, but it seems this story is too inappropriate for that of a young age, so we'll be censoring it.

Ed: So you'll basically butcher the story line, the characters, the seriousness (if this story has any), the actual funny things, the characters name, and any out of American country influence in here?

4kids: Well…when you put it that way you make us sound bad.

YOU ARE BAD! AND HOW IN THE HELL DID THIS STORY GET A CONTRACT ANYWAY?!

4kids: Well….

_FLASH BACK!_

_Geenie: Well what'ya know! I'm here at the dubbers convention! This is where the evil meets and talks about the most dullest things in the world….Why am I here again?_

_Disney Sponsor: Hey you're Geenie ate me aren't you?_

_Geenie: How in the hell do you know that?!_

_Disney Sponsor: To make this story more convenient I just automatically know. Just like how I conveniently know that you write a story called Bakalicious. _

_Geenie: Ummm….You guys weren't spying on me…were you?_

_Disney Sponsor: NO! WE DO NOT SPY ON NON DISNEY WATCHERS TO SEE WHY THEY DO NOT WATCH DISNEY AND SOMEHOW LURE THEM HERE!_

_Geenie: Riiight….well I'm going to leave now!_

_Disney Sponsor: WAIT! How about giving us the rights to your story?_

_Geenie: No way! I worked hard on that story! I consider it a child of mine! Still young….and well corrupted. BUT STIIL! I love it with all my heart! And nothing you say or do will change that!_

_Disney Sponsor: I'll give you a bottle cap for it…._

_Geenie: Bottle cap! Oh boy!_

_Signs contract._

_FLASH BACK OVER!_

Ed:…And I thought Gaara was the only one allowed to have flash backs…

Gaara: YOU SAW THOSE?!

Geenie: Everybody did. Anyway, THOSE CHEAP LYING BASTARDS TRICKED ME!! It wasn't a bottle cap! It was an old colonial coin worth millions! I was so upset when I found out, I flushed it down the toilet!

Ed:……WE'RE YOU BORN STUPID?!

Geenie: No….I was dropped on my head….

Gaara: Well that explains a lot.

Geenie: Well anyway let's get to our commercial.

4kids: Actually, we scrapped that out of your story.

Geenie: WHAT?!

4kids: We find them distracting and inappropriate. If you do have commercials, they must be short, sweet, and promoting good things. Like Vitamins.

Gaara: VITAMINS SUCK!

4kids: You mean stink. Also we have a list of changes you must go through before we may begin this chapter.

Gives Geenie list.

Geenie: Keel is not allowed, nor is actual killing….Shannon just went on a vacation..Who in the hell is Shannon?!

4kids: Oh that's the character you know as Saucegay.

Geenie:…Why is it Shannon now?!

4kids: We just want children to be able to understand the story.

Geenie: And they won't understand if his name is Sasuke? And him dying is the best part!

4kids: We want to keep this realistic as possible.

Ed: And him going on vacation every second is realistic? Not to mention half the things here aren't realistic so what's the point?

Geenie: Sakura is Rutabaga now?! What kind of name is that?!

4kids: A good one.

Geenie:…I don't see Naruto on here…Where is he?!

4kids: We found him to be distracting and inappropriate with the whole sexy jutsu thing so we took him out.

Geenie: BUT HE'S THE MAIN CHARACTER!

4kids: It's okay, we'll replace him with someone more-

Ed: Appropriate?

4kids: Yes exactly.

Geenie: Who?

4kids: This one!

Shino: Hi guys!!!

Geenie: SHINO'S GOING TO BE THE MAIN CHARACTER!?

4kids: It's not Shino, it's Cork.

Geenie: CORK ISN'T EVEN A NAME!

4kids: We're aware of that.

Ed: Then why make it a name?

4kids: We find it adorable.

Gaara:………

4kids: Oh would you like to hear the theme song?

Ed: No, not really…

Gets out stereo.

_OKAY! LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!_

_HEY KIDS, IT'S ME! DJ GOODTIMES HERE TO RAP ABOUT A STORY CALLED, GOOFLICIOUS!_

_YO! YO! YO! _

_THE SILLY RUTABEGA WAS KIDNAPPED!_

_BY THE EVIL AND BAD!_

_SO IT'S UP TO THE HEROS TO STOP THIS EVIL TRIP!_

_AND THEY'LL DO IT BY USING THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!_

_LOVE AND COMPASSION (as long as it doesn't involve actual romance love) IS THE WAY TO GO!_

_BY OUR VITAMINS YO!_

Geenie: Did I just here…the word…GOOFLICIOUS?! GOOF?! GOOF?! I HATE THAT DAMN WORD!!! I HATE IT! I HATE IT!

4kids: You mean dislike.

Geenie: That's it…YOU CAN ADVERTISE VITAMINS! YOU CAN CHANGE THE CHARACTERS NAMES, YOU CAN EVEN REPLACE NARUTO WITH SHINO….BUT WHEN YOU CHANGE MY TITLE, MY TITLE, AND REPLACE IT WITH A WORD LIKE GOOF….YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR…I'M GOING DO WORST TO YOU THEN WHAT I EVER DID TO SASUKE…..

4kids: You mean Shannon.

Geenie: ARRRRRG!

_PLEASE STAND BY!_

2 SECONDS LATER…

Ed: Oh my god! There's soo much blood!

Geenie: SHUT UP AND HELP ME HIDE THE BODIES!

Ed: (vomits) This is worse than what you ever did to Sasuke…

Geenie: That's what they get…

Gaara: For butchering your story and doing bad editing?

Geenie: NO, for lying to me about that bottle cap…

Ed: I'm guessing we're skipping the commercials.

Geenie: YUP! NOW TO OUR STORY!

Looks all psycho.

Sakura: Wow Gaara, all of that time we spent together was just absolutely amazing! I never knew how much of a great guy you were until you kidnapped me dressed up like Hamtaro…But now I guess since you're done shopping, you still plan on carrying out whatever evil deed you have planned.

Gaara: Yeah basically. And those fifteen minutes of my life were just horrible by the way.

Sakura:…WHAT?! BUT…BUT….I THOUGHT YOU LOOVED ME AND WOULD LEMMEE GO!

Gaara: Pfft no! You're not the least bit charming to me. In fact every moment spent with you makes me want to punch a puppy.

Akamaru: HEY! I TAKE GREAT OFFENSE TO THAT!

Sakura: Did that dog just talk?!

Akamaru: No, it's just a figment of your imagination.

Sakura: Oh okay.

Akamaru: Idiot.

Gaara: This story is just getting weirder by the second…

Akamaru: Yeah yeah yeah! Now Kiba take them out!

Kiba: Yeah sure thing!

Sakura: Kiba?!

Reviewer: WAIT!

Geenie: AHHH! WHAT?!

Reviewer: Kiba took Akamaru's offer?! And all of those chapters were only fifteen minutes into the storyline?!

Geenie: Apparently.

Reviewer: And you're not even going to bother to go to the scene to as why Kiba became evil?

Geenie: Nope, frankly he's not important enough.

Kiba: HEY!

Geenie: It's not my fault you're lamer than Shino!

Kiba: I'm not that lame….

Geenie: You're right, you're not lame…..YOU'RE LAMER THAN LAME!

Kiba: Now that was uncalled for.

Akamaru: CAN WE PLEASE GET BACK TO THE STORY NOW?!

Geenie: If people are done interrupting me!

Reviewer: Okay, continue.

Sakura: Kiba?!

Kiba: Yes, it is I, KIBA! The unlame ninja!

Gaara:….Uh-huh. Well if you two are done being annoying, I'm going to take little Ms. Tipsy now.

Akamaru: NO! WE ARE NOT DONE!

Gaara: And you're doing this why?

Sakura: TO RESCUE ME?!

Akamaru: HELL NO! We're actually here to well….

Gaara: You don't even know do you?

Kiba: No….

Gaara: Well that figures…Oh well, I'll just kill you to-

Rock Lee: Actually you mean-

Gaara: I DON'T CARE I WILL KILL THEM EITHER WAY! NOW SHUT THE HELL UP!

Rock Lee: Meep…(randomly fades away)

Gaara: Desert Coffin!

Akamaru: ITACHI NOW!

Itachi: HYAH!

Kicks Gaara in the nuts, runs off. Gaara falls in writhing pain.

Gaara: Ahh! Dammit he can kick hard!

Akamaru: MWAHAHAHA!

Sakura: Yay! I'm saved!

Akamaru: Kiba take her.

Kiba: Sorry Sakura.

Knocks out Sakura.

Gaara: Hey!

Akamaru: I'm sorry Gaara, but we couldn't have you ruin our plans into making the ultimate MarySue. You see, we all knew you would fall in love with Sakura so you would try to meddle in Master's plans.

Gaara: ….What?

Itachi: Don't deny it! You're in love with Ms. Piggy over there!

Gaara: Hell no! I HATE HER! SHE'S SO DAMN ANNOYING!

Kiba: Then why meddle with the plans?

Gaara: Well, I knew all along that this _Master _of your's was planning to make the ultimate MarySue and try to take over our anime….If there's one thing I hate, it's fanfictions…..But there is another thing that I truly despise, even more so than yaois….AND I HATE YAOIS!

Kiba: MarySues?

Gaara: YES! They piss me the hell off! With their perfect everything! And troubling pasts! Ahh it makes me angry! So I figured I would just kill Sakura and that would solve everything.

Kiba: Why is killing always the answer with you?!

Akamaru: Don't ask him that! He'll go into one of his annoying flash backs!

Itachi: Where should we take the girl?

Akamaru: Take her to the lair!

Itachi: Yes sir!

Takes Sakura.

Gaara: You won't get away with this! My nuts maybe numb now, but oh just wait…you'll be buried alive by the time I get through with you!

Akamaru: We're aware of that. That's why we brought this.

Takes out strange looking device.

Akamaru: Do you know what this is Gaara?

Gaara: No..

Akamaru: Well, you're about to find out.

Kiba: Wait, Akamaru! Don't you think that's a little extreme?

Akamaru: Quiet Kiba.

Turns on device. Rays of rainbows shoot at Gaara.

Gaara: AHHHHH!!!

Akamaru: Yes. Scream.

Kiba: Oh god…

Akamaru: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Kakashi: _Meanwhile in Konoha.._

Group of fan boys: HYAAAAH!

Tsunade: AIIIIIEEE!

Randomly takes out bat and swings it at group of fan boys. The group of fan boys all go flying.

Tsunade: TAKE THAT YOU CREEPOS!

Shizune: Lady Tsunade!

Tsunade: Shizune! What's wrong?

Shizune: It's the parade float Kiba and that creepy dog of his was working on!

Tsunade: You mean the one we are rebuilding?

Shizune: Yes, it has a bomb inside!

Tsunade: A BOMB?!

Shizune: I'm afraid so! Hurry and-…Wait…why do you have a baseball bat?

Tsunade: A group of nerdy kids just attacked me….If my calculations are correct, the bomb must be connected with them. Where's this bomb?

Shizune: Out front. Come on!

Pig: Oink!

Tsunade: Oh my 3rd Hokage, what kind of bomb is that?!

Shizune: What I don't get is why it's shaped like a bunny…

Tsunade: Did you call bomb squad?

Shizune: They're right there working on it!

Points to Shikamaru, Choji, and Neji.

Tsunade: You mean to tell me that a group of twelve year olds is the bomb squad?! WHAT KIND OF ANIME IS THIS?!

Shikamaru: A very unrealistic one….

Tsunade: REPORT!

Shikamaru: We studied every inch of the bomb and found that there are only two wires we can cut.

Tsunade: What happens if we cut one?

Shikamaru: We don't know….

Tsunade: Again, why are a group of twelve year olds doing this?

Sailor Ino: DON'T WORRY LADY TSUNADE, US, THE SAILOR SENSHI/SCOUTS ARE HERE TO HELP!

Tsunade: Oh god…

Cheesy background music plays.

Sailor Ino: SAILOR INO PRESENT!

Sailor Tin Tin: SAILOR TEN TEN NOT TIN TIN PRESENT!

Sailor Hinata: I never agreed to this…

Sailor Ino: YOU'LL DO AND YOU'LL LIKE IT!

Sailor Hinata: AHHH!

Runs into tree.

Sailor Ino: Umm….she's present.

All of them except Hinata: AND WE WILL HELP! FOR TRUTH! FOR JUSTICE! AND FOR CHEESE CAKE, BY THE NAME OF….THE…NINJA WE SHALL PUNISH THOSE WHO ARE BAD AND-

Neji: Shut up!

Sailor Ino: Oh, looks like we have a critic.

Neji: No, you're just really friken annoying! Seriously, shut up.

Sailor Ino: You can't tell us to shut up! We're the Sailor-

Neji: No one cares. So go away.

Sailor Ino: Hey! We're here to help!

Neji: By doing what exactly? Being extremely annoying?

Sailor Ino: NO! For your information we are very helpful.

Neji: Yeah sure.

Sailor Ino: OH COME ON! TELL HIM SHIKAMARU!

Shikamaru: Frankly, I can care less.

Sailor Ino: And to think I was going to give you the part of Tuxedo Mask if Sasuke was still dead! Well guess what buddy, you're not getting it now!

Shikamaru: Thank god.

Choji: OOH! OOH! I WANT TO BE TUXEDO MASK! HEY INO! I THINK YOU'RE PLENTY USEFUL AND COOL!

Sailor Ino: NO WAY! I WOULD RATHER HAVE SHINO DO IT THAN YOU!

Shino: You rang?

Tsunade: AH DAMMIT! I thought we got rid of him….

Shikamaru: Shouldn't we worry about the bomb?

Kakashi: _Just as Shikamaru says that though, a giant T.V. screen that wasn't there two seconds ago turns on._

Sailor Ino: What the?

Dark Shadowy figure: Hello there people of Konoha.

Shikamaru: Who are you?

Dark shadowy figure: If I told you that then the reviewers of this worthless story would be gravely disappointed wouldn't they?

Neji: What story?

Tsunade: Jeeze kid get with the times.

Dark Shadowy figure: I see all of you found my little surprise.

Tsunade: You call a bomb a little surprise!

Dark Shadowy Figure: Hm. I guess not.

Shikamaru: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM US!

Dark Shadowy Figure: Nothing.

Tsunade: Nothing?

Dark Shadowy Figure: Just your souls.

Shikamaru: What?

Dark Shadowy Figure: The souls that make your character…I wish to own them.

Neji: What in the hell are you talking about?!

Dark Shadowy Figure: Never mind that. I bet all of you are wondering about those two wires.

Tsunade: No, are lives only depend on them. Why would we be worried?

Dark Shadowy Figure: Sarcasm, cute.

Tsunade: Are you going to tell us about them or not?!

Dark Shadowy Figure: Fine. There are two pink wires. One of them if cut, will set off the bomb. The other, will not.

Tsunade: So what happens if we cut the other one?

Dark Shadowy Figure: Turn off the bomb naturally.

Tsunade: You're not going to tell us are you?

Dark Shadowy Figure: Oh I will, for a price.

Neji: That being?

Dark Shadowy Figure: The life of you Mr. Hyuga.

Neji: WHAT?!

Dark Shadowy Figure: You heard me right, I want Neji Hyuga dead.

Sailor Ino: I have no problem with that.

Neji: I do!

Sailor Ino: That's because you're a loser.

Tsunade: Okay, all in favor for killing Neji, say I!

Everyone (including Hinata and Neji's uncle): I!

Neji: You guys are bastards!

Tsunade: Hurry up and kill him!

Neji: Oh no you don't!

Throws smoke bomb, disappears.

Shikamaru: Dammit! He's gone!

Tsunade: Who would have thought a ninja would know how to use a smoke bomb!

Sailor Ino: Umm….now what…

Dark Shadowy Figure: I guess you will have to figure out which wire to cut now….Have fun.

T.V. screen turns off.

Kakashi: _Where Naruto is…_

Naruto: So lemme get this straight, you (points at Ed) are not a midget, and you (points at Al) is not a robot?!

Ed: Out of all of the things that are hard to believe in our story, that's the part you find hard to be true?

Naruto: Ummm…yeah.

Ed: IM NOT A FRIKIN CIRCUS MIDGET YOU CREATON!

Jiraiya: Calm down shortie, we have bigger things to worry about.

Ed: Yeah like you ripping us off!

Jiraiya: Hey! I found him didn't I?!

Ed: Yeah by complete coincidence!

Ryuk: I want a apple!!!

Al: EVERYONE! SHUT THE HELL UP!

Everyone:….

Ed: AL! YOU SAID HELL!

Al: Oh no! I did!

Naruto: Seriously purvey-sage, where did you find these guys?

Jiraiya: Tsunade sent me to take them to you, what I'm wondering is where in the hell did you find that thing?!

Ryuk: APPLES!

Naruto: I told you already! Sasuke tried to kill me with this book, he died, I got it, and this dude popped outta nowhere!

Jiraiya: Riiiight……Well, now that all of you peeps are united looks like my job is done. No need to thank me!

Ed: You're lucky I don't kill you.

Al: Ed! Be nice.

Naruto: It's going to be a looong day….

Reviewer: Especially considering that only fifteen minutes passed…

Jiraiya: I am off! Goood bye!!!

Takes out umbrella, floats away.

Naruto: Okay then…..

Ed: We don't have much time to waste, we have to find your friend and stop them from building the ultimate MarySue.

Naruto: I'm with you on that one….But…I have no flippin clue on where to find Sakura…I've looked everywhere.

Al: Maybe she isn't in the mall.

Naruto: Then where could she be?! WHERE!

Ryuk: Ya'know, I could fly up and search for her if you just give me some apples…

Naruto: But where am I going to find apples?!

Random Guy: Apples! Get your fresh juicy apples! Only 25 cents…err-yen….or whatever.

Naruto: Hmm…where…

Farmer: Yup, that sure is beautiful. This here apple tree I grew in the middle of the parking lot….right here.

Naruto: I wonder…

Another Random Guy: HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S FREE APPLE DAY!! TAKE MY APPLES!!!

Naruto: Dammit Ryuk! I have no idea where I'm going to find any apples!

Ed: You gotta be kidding me…

Witch from Snow White: I got what you want…

Naruto: You have apples?!

Witch: Yes, here.

Naruto: Why's it blue?

Witch: Ummm…..because they're special apples…

Naruto: Okay! How much?

Witch: Oh, take it. Free of charge.

Naruto: Wow! Thanks suspicious looking old lady!

Witch: No problem sunny…WAHAHAHAHAHA!

Throws smoke bomb, disappears.

Al: What a nice old lady!

Ed: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO HAS COMMON SENSE AROUND HERE?!

Naruto: Here Ryuk! I found a apple.

Ryuk: Why's it blue?

Naruto: It's a special apple…

Ryuk: Okay.

Takes apple.

Ryuk: I'll eat it later.

Puts it in pocket.

Naruto: Okay, now go and fly! BE FREE!!!! Oh and find Sakura..

Ryuk: Right.

Flies off.

Ed: So…umm….

Rock Lee: HYAH!

Pops from underneath the ground.

Ed: AHHH!

Rock Lee: I have come to save Sakura!!

Naruto: Well…she isn't here…and why are you shirtless?!

Rock Lee: Because….and wait…if she isn't here…that means….you lost the bet! HAHAHAHAHA!

Naruto: If you're still looking for her, than that means you lost the bet as well.

Rock Lee: DAMMIT! Which means….SASUKE FOUND HER!

Sasuke: No.

Naruto: Sasuke!! You traitor! Like promised, I shall now be obsessed with you and hurt because you betrayed me!

Sasuke: Oddly, I find that kind of flattering.

Ed: CAN ANYONE TELL ME WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Rock Lee: Who's that guy?

Naruto: He's from a different anime and is here to help us……

Rock Lee: Oh. Hello there stranger, I AM ROCK LEE THE HANDSOME DEVIL!

Fire burns in his eyes.

Ed:…..

Shino: AHHH!!! EVERYONE RUUUN!!!

Runs pass them all.

Naruto: I wonder what his problem is….IS THAT A GIANT MEAT BALL?!

Rock Lee: Looks like it.

Naruto: And it's heading our way.

Rock Lee: Yup.

Naruto: Oh…..AHHHH!

All of them run.

Sasuke: Lemme guess, this is some cheap way you can kill me isn't it?

Geenie: No….

Sasuke gets gills.

Sasuke: What the-I CAN'T BREATHE!

Geenie: That was….

Sasuke dies.

Geenie: I still got it….heh heh…KAKASHI FINISH UP!

Kakashi: _WHERE HAS KIBA TAKEN SAKURA? WHO WAS THAT SHADOWY FIGURE? ARE THE SAILOR SENSHI/SCOUTS ONLY GOOD AT BEING VERY OBNOXIOUS?! WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO GAARA? WHERE IS NEJI? WILL THE BOMB BE DEACTIVATED? AND WILL GEENIE EVER RETURN MY CALLS?! FIND OUT THIS AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE IN THE NEXT EXCITING CHAPTER OF-_

Reviewer: BAKALICIOUS!

Kakashi: (glares)

Reviewer: Sorry, bad habit.

**AND DONE…okay, I can throw a million and one lame excuses as of why I have neglected to update…well…..that will take way too flippin long and frankly, who reads these damn things after a chapter is done? Seriously? I wonder how many reviewers I lost…….hopefully not too many….Sorry I'm soo lame guys, the next update will hopefully come a lot quicker! YOWZA!**


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